新视野大学英语读写教程听力 第四册 课文 4t01ab

[-2:-7.00]and deny the other parent any regular contact with their children.
[-2:-8.00]We can even,if we want,interpret the term "family"
[-2:-9.00]to include people who are not related to us either by blood or marriage
[-2:10.00]— a set of close friends who support one another,
[-2:11.00]like the women I mentioned above.
[-2:12.00]Throw in the faithful dog if you like.
[-2:13.00]Family is whatever we want it to be.
[-2:14.00]The trouble is,such an elastic classification ignores the problem of children
[-2:15.00]and the wider problem of caring for others.
[-2:16.00]If marriage exists only as a romantic relationship
[-2:17.00]that can be ended at will,
[-2:18.00]and family exists only by virtue of bonds of affection,
[-2:19.00]both marriage and family come second to the search for love.
[-2:20.00]Under this scheme,individuals attempt to march towards maximum happiness
[-2:21.00]as they move through a procession of more or less satisfying romantic relationships.
[-2:22.00]Children,relatives,and the ties of mutual obligation
[-2:23.00]and care are left behind,with no place to go.
[-2:24.00]Independent adults may find this okay.
[-2:25.00]But dependent children can't just be left behind
[-2:26.00]when it's time to move on to a new relationship:
[-2:27.00]they demand sacrifice and unselfishness,
[-2:28.00]a long-term investment of the parents' time and money.
[-2:29.00]The whole point of marriage is that it imposes clear obligations,
[-2:30.00]not just the right to pursue your own happiness.
[-2:31.00]And the main obligation is to provide both emotional
[-2:32.00]and practical care for children.
[-2:33.00]The glory of burning passion may well have faded,
[-2:34.00]and your love for your wife or husband may not be as exciting
[-2:35.00]or satisfying as it once was,
[-2:36.00]but going off in search of another love will not help your children.
[-2:37.00]The Love Family is either too casual for children
[-2:38.00]— your friends have no obligation to provide for them
[-2:39.00]— or it's too unstable, with adults moving on if the relationship
[-2:40.00]no longer answers their search for perfect happiness.
[-2:41.00]What divorce does is to damage children,
[-2:42.00]making them into refugees as the people in their lives scatter in all directions.
[-2:43.00]I am aware of the complex research concerning the effects of divorce on children
[-2:44.00]and I acknowledge that some children are better off without a violent father,
[-2:45.00]a family income wasted on drinking or gambling,
[-2:46.00]or unhappy parents taking out their anger on everyone in the family.
[-2:47.00]But divorce destroys the stability, security,
[-2:48.00]and continuity that children need:
[-2:49.00]it results in poverty for many women and children;
[-2:50.00]it damages the natural link between father and children
[-2:51.00]and replaces it with one of regulated, arranged visits;
[-2:52.00]it removes the father from the household,
[-2:53.00]the only sensible basis for a working parental relationship;
[-2:54.00]it places a terrible strain on the mother-child bond
[-2:55.00]by saddling the mother with the double burden
[-2:56.00]of playing the role of both mother and father;
[-2:57.00]and it often interrupts the child's schooling,
[-2:58.00]friendships and neighborhood contacts,
[-2:59.00]those beginnings of trust and social relationships needed
[-3:00.00]to mold a child into a healthy member of society.
[-3:-1.00]It even weakens the child's links with grandparents
[-3:-2.00]and other family (usually on the father's side),
[-3:-3.00]and few lovers are willing to take on real responsibility
[-3:-4.00]for the welfare of another person's child.
[-3:-5.00]Love is not enough,
[-3:-6.00]compared with the presence and support of both a mother and a father.
[-3:-7.00]Nor,I would venture to suggest,
[-3:-8.00]is love enough to sustain a marriage relationship.
[-3:-9.00]The Love Family, in the end,
[-3:10.00]doesn't have to make concessions for children and relatives.