“空巢”有助于增进夫妻感情

“空巢”有助于增进夫妻感情
Marriages improve after children fly the coop, according to research

Marriages improve after children grow up and move out, according to an academic study which suggests an "empty nest" is not always a bad thing.

Popular wisdom has it that parents' relationships may suffer once their young fly the coop, because they feel they have lost their purpose in life.

However a new study by researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, has found that many couples actually feel happier when their children leave home because they are able to enjoy spending time together.

In total, 123 American mothers born in the 1930s were tracked for 18 years and asked to rate their satisfaction levels shortly after marrying, when they were bringing up babies, once their children reached their teenage years and finally at age 61, when almost all had "empty nests".

Although not all said they were happier in general, most claimed their marriages had improved since their children had left home.

Researchers believe this is not just because the spouses were spending more time together, but because they were able to enjoy each other's company more.

One of the participants in the study, which is published in the journal Psychological Science, said: "Once the kids grow up... there's some of that stress removed... that responsibility removed, so things are a little more relaxed."

Psychologist Sara Gorchoff, who carried out the investigation, said: "The take-home message for couples with young children is 'hang in there'."

Her co-author Oliver John added: "Don't wait until your kids leave home to schedule quality time with your partner."

However Dr Dorothy Rowe, from the British Psychological Society, said the effects of living in an "empty nest" will depend on the parents' relationship with their children.

"If you're just waiting for them to leave home so you can get on with your life, then of course you'll be pleased to see them go,' she said.

"But if you've built your life around your children you'll be terribly bereft. For some parents, their world falls apart when their children leave."

一项理论研究显示，“空巢”不一定是坏事，因为孩子长大离家后父母的婚姻质量会提高。

普遍观点认为，孩子长大离家后父母之间的关系可能会受到影响，因为他们会感到失去了生活的意义。

而美国加州大学伯克利分校的一项最新研究结果显示，其实很多夫妻在孩子离家后都感到更加快乐，因为他们能有更多的时间享受“二人世界”。

研究人员对上世纪30年代出生的共123位美国母亲进行了18年的跟踪调查，并让她们对新婚、抚养孩子、孩子十几岁时以及自己61岁时（此时几乎所有家庭都处于“空巢”状态）的婚姻满意度进行打分。

尽管并非所有人都表示孩子离家后总体来说感觉更快乐，但大多数人称这一时期的婚姻质量有所改善。

研究人员认为，这不仅是因为夫妻俩有更多的时间在一起，而且因为他们此时能更好地享受伴侣的陪伴。

其中一名调查对象说：“孩子长大以后，有些压力和责任就没有了，所以会轻松一点。”这项研究成果在《心理科学》期刊上发表。

负责开展该调查的心理学家萨拉．戈尔彻夫说：“对于孩子还小的夫妻来说，最重要的是‘坚持’。”

另一位研究人员奥利弗．约翰补充说：“不要等到孩子离家后才开始安排夫妻俩的二人时光。”

而英国心理学会的多罗茜．露博士称，“空巢”家庭是否有助于增进夫妻感情取决于父母与孩子的关系。

她说：“如果你非要等孩子离家后再开始自己的生活，那你当然很高兴看到他们离开。”

“但如果你一直围着孩子转，那么当他们离开时，你会感到失去亲人般的痛苦。对一些家长来说，孩子一离开，他们的世界也随之崩塌了。”

Vocabulary: 

take-home message: the most important thing（重点）

hang in there:坚持