社交网站成婚姻杀手
It used to be the tell-tale lipstick on the collar. Then there were the give-away texts that spelled the death knell for many marriages.
But now one in five divorces involve the social networking site Facebook, according to a new survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
A staggering 80 per cent of divorce lawyers have also reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence of cheating.
Facebook was by far the biggest offender, with 66 per cent of lawyers citing it as the primary source of evidence in a divorce case. MySpace followed with 15 per cent, Twitter at 5 per cent and other choices lumped together at 14 per cent.
The survey reflects the findings of a UK law firm last year showing that 20 per cent of its divorce petitions blamed Facebook flings.
‘The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to,’ said Mark Keenan, managing director of Divorce-Online.
Friends Reunited faced similar claims when it was launched to help people reconnect with old classmates, but the 23 million plus people now using Facebook in Britain means it is having a much bigger effect on rising divorce rates.
‘Desperate Housewives’ star Eva Longoria recently split from her basketball player husband Tony Parker after alleging that he strayed with a woman he kept in touch with on Facebook.
‘Going through a divorce always results in heightened levels of personal scrutiny. If you publicly post any contradictions to previously made statements and promises, an estranged spouse will certainly be one of the first people to notice and make use of that evidence,’ said American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers President Marlene Eskind Moses.
‘As everyone continues to share more and more aspects of their lives on social networking sites, they leave themselves open to much greater examinations of both their public and private lives in these sensitive situations,’ she added.
Marriage counsellor Terry Real said he believes some users go on Facebook to create a fantasy life and escape the drudgery. But he said Facebook is not really to blame.
‘Before it was email, then before that it was the phone. The problem is not Facebook, it is the loss of love in your marriage,’ he said.
过去,妻子可能从衣领的唇印发现丈夫出轨。后来,泄密短信也成为诸多婚姻解体的导火索。
而据美国婚姻律师学会的最新调查,如今五分之一的离婚案件与社交网站Facebook有关。
令人吃惊的是,80%的离婚案律师也汇报称利用社交媒体搜集出轨证据的案例猛增。
Facebook目前已成为婚姻破裂的罪魁祸首。66%的律师将其作为离婚案的主要取证来源。其次是MySpace,占15%。微博“推特”排在第三,占5%。其它取证来源的总和仅占14%。
这项调查与英国一家律师事务所去年开展的另一项调查结果一致,两者都把20%离婚诉讼的起因归结于Facebook引发的婚外情。
离婚在线公司的总经理马克.基南说:“最常见的离婚理由似乎是人们在聊天时与不合适的对象讨论性方面的话题。”
“校友重聚”网站在建立之初也面临类似指责,该网站旨在帮助人们与老同学重建联系,但英国Facebook用户超过2300万人这一事实意味着它对不断高企的离婚率影响更大。
《绝望主妇》女星伊娃.朗格利亚指控丈夫与一名在Facebook上联络的女子有染,最近与篮球明星丈夫托尼.帕克分手。
美国婚姻律师学会会长马琳.爱思金德.摩斯说:“离婚过程通常会招致对配偶更严格的监视。如果你在社交网站上公开发布了一些与自己此前的言谈或承诺不符的话语,已分居的配偶当然会首先注意到这一点,并且拿来当证据。”
她补充说:“由于大家不断在社交网站上与他人共享生活的更多方面,在离婚这一敏感时期,人们的公众生活和私生活也就将面临更严格的考验。”
婚姻咨询顾问特里.里尔认为,Facebook的部分用户是为了脱离现实的沉闷,创造幻想生活才上网的,但他表示不应该把婚姻破裂的原因归罪于Facebook。
他说:“之前我们怪电子邮件,再之前怪电话。问题不在于Facebook,而在于你婚姻里的爱已经消逝。”
Vocabulary:
tell-tale: that reveals or betrays what is not intended to be known(泄密的,搬弄是非的)
death knell: a harbinger of the end, death, or destruction of something(死亡的征兆,预示毁灭的事件,结束信号)
fling: 短暂的风流韵事
stray: to go astray; deviate, as from a moral, religious, or philosophical course(有外遇,沾花惹草)
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