名师托福作文评改：家庭教育比学校好

II.   Editorial Comments

1.  Original: To illustrate this, there is an example that is very persuasive. Revised: To illustrate this point, one example is very persuasive.

one example is very persuasive表达更简洁，使文章紧凑。

2.  Original: But studying at home will be out of this question. Revised: If you studied at home, this would not be a problem.

原句缺少主语，是中国学生写作时常犯的错误。

3.  Original: There is a good example.Revised: For example,
举例子，用For example或者For instance即可，简洁明了为最好。

III.  Alternative Expressions

A.  The phrase “regarding [the question]” identifies the topic of a sentence. Alternative expressions include:
(i)“With respect to [the question]” – Example: With respect to whether or not you should take the TOEFL or IELTS, it depends on your purpose and where you want to study abroad.
(ii)“As for [the question]” – Example: As to whether he will travel to Australia this summer, I do not know. It is up to him.
(iii) “Concerning [the question]” – Example: Concerning the international ping-pong tournament, I believe that the Chinese team has a good chance to win.

B.  The expression “although at first” refers to an initial impression or thought that has been changed due to new knowledge or information. Example: Although at first he seemed unfriendly, he is just a very shy person. Other ways to refer to “although at first”:
(i)“little did I know” – Example: Samantha gave me flowers as a gift on my birthday, but little did I know that she was only pretending to be my friend.
(ii)“to my surprise” – Example: I initially thought he was 30, but to my surprise he is only 20.

C.   The phrase “at any time you like” expresses someone is free to do something whenever they want to. Other ways to express this include:
(i)“whenever you like/please” – Example: Now that I have my own apartment, I can watch television whenever I please.
(ii)“as you wish” – Example: I bought my own TOEFL book so I could study as I wish.
(iii)“ at your convenience” – Example: Before the track team always worried about whether it was going to rain before practice, but the new indoor track course will allow them to run at their convenience.