应试类写作的检查策略（二）

5．用代词时，指代是否清楚

例13　a) Sometimes teachers will inform students of the heavy burden they have to bear.
　　　b) Sometimes a teacher will inform students of the heavy burden he has to bear.

　　they 即可指代teachers, 也可指代 students，明显的是指代不清。其实只要把其中一个名词变成单数，用he和 they分别代不同的名词，就清楚了。因为 a teacher也可泛指所有教师。

例14　a) Someone believes that the teacher's task is to give students knowledge, which may not be true.
　　　b) Someone believes that the teacher's task is to give students knowledge, a notion which may not be true.

　　which指代什么不清楚，指 knowledge，还是指前面整个句子？如果指 Someone believes，最好用 a notion或an idea归纳一下整个句子的意思，然后引出从句。

例15　a) People have been fighting against the influence of TV commercials, but it often proves useless.
　　　b)People have been fighting against the influence of TV commercials, but the effort often proves useless.

　　it 指什么？如指influence，则在 it often proves useless 这个句子中显然不通。写作人知道it指人们的努力，但effort 这个词前面没有出现过，就不能用it。

6．相邻的句子，是否避免了不必要的结构转变

例16　a) While we reuce the number of vehicles, the speed of traffic can be increased.
　　　b) While the number of vehiles is reduced, the speed of traffic is increased.

　　两个非常相关的意思，不要一个使用主动结构，一个使用被动结构。

例17　a) Each of us may take a parttime job to help support ourselves, but if you spend too much time on it, your study will be affected.
　　　b) Each of us may take a parttime job to help support ourselves, but too much time spent on it, our studies will be affected.

　　前半句用each of us和ourselves，后半句却用you和 your study，应一致起来。

7．可数名词与不可数名词是否用得正确

例18　a) TV presents us with many useful informations.
　　　b) TV presents us with a lot of useful information

　　还有evidence, advice, knowledge等都是不可数名词，都不能用复数。另外， many, a great number of, another, few 等只能与可数名词配用。而a great amount of, a great deal of, less, much, 等应与不可数名词配用。

例19　a) Making our cities greener is not an easy work.
　　　b) Making our cities greener is not an easy job.

　　work 用作可数名词是“作品”这类意思，而表示“工作”时，不可数。同样，在 Word has been sent out that those who cheat on exams will be punished.这个句子中，要用单数word表示“信息”。

例20　a)Each people has his own opportunities.
　　　b) Each person has his own opportunities.

　　people作“人民”、“人们”解时，是集体名词，不能与each配用。 a people或 peoples表示民族、国家。在正式语体中也不能说 less people，而应说 few people。

8．冠词是否用得正确

例21　a) Book knowledge is important, but we should also learn something in the society.
　　　b) Book knowledge is important, but we should also learn something in society.

　　用定冠词the, 是特指意义，而这里没有这个特指意义。同样，在When I was in the high school, I always have a beautiful picture of the college life 中，两个the都应去掉。

例22　a) If there were no electirc power, we would have to do everything by the hands.
　　　b) If there were no electric power, we would have to do everything by hand.

　　表示用手 (by hand), 走路 (on foot), 上课 (in class), 上学 (go to school), 住院 (at hospitable)等，都不用定冠词。

例23　a) If there were no electric power, factory would stop producing goods, car, bus and train would stop running.
　　　b) If there were no electric power, factories would stop producing goods; cars, buses and trains would stop running.

　　用可数名词时，要么前面有冠词（the, a, an)或代词(his, her, my), 要么以复数形成出现。不能像中文名词那样没有语法变化。