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新托福,SAT作文巨讲堂(5)

2011-05-16来源:和谐英语
  无老师优秀范例:Expand your skill set. If you’re in the right career, critically examine where you may be lacking in experience or qualifications. If you’re weak at giving presentations, now is the time to join Toastmasters. This will improve your public speaking ability and eventually add solid achievements to your resume. Upgrade your credentials. Is there a certification of some sort that you can achieve? Perhaps it is time to consider finishing your MBA。
  无老师中文释义:扩展你的技能,如果你有份合适的职业,那么,就精确地审视你可能缺乏的经验或资格。如果你不善表达,那么,现在就该加入Toastmasters。这将有助于提高你在公 共场合讲话的能力,也将为你的简历添上实在的业绩。升级你的文凭。看看你能获得哪种证明。也许是考虑完成你的MBA的时候了。
  无老师平庸示例:Expand your skill set. If you own a good job, then you may check the experience and qualifications which you may lack. If you do not know what to say, then, you should join in the Toastmasters. This will improve the ability of speaking in public ground, and also add good record in your resume. Update your credential. Check out all your certificate. Maybe it’s time to finish your MBA program.
  首先:If you’re in the right career, critically examine where you may be lacking in experience or qualifications. VS If you own a good job, then you may check the experience and qualifications which you may lack.
  显然job相比于career更为口语化,因此在书面写作之中用career“职业”更为恰当,其后,good相比于right也更为宽泛,用一个right比之good更有正中靶心之意,因此优秀范例写的是If you’re in the right career.其后critically更有“仔细”的意思,但是examine与check差别不大,不做评述。
  接下来If you’re weak at giving presentations, now is the time to join Toastmasters. VS If you do not know what to say, then, you should join in the Toastmasters.
  这里的差别就很明显了,If you’re weak at giving presentations显然比If you do not know what to say更为书面化。这里的be weak at显然很类似于我们之前的be good at这样的固定搭配,充分彰显一个人的单词量,然后再接下来presentation也是必what to say更为正式,因此在本句话里面高下自现。不过接下来的is the time to比之于should其实给人很多的启示,原来should就是is the time to的意思!原来本身就是可以互换的!
  之后This will improve your public speaking ability and eventually add solid achievements to your resume.VS This will improve the ability of speaking in public ground, and also add good record in your resume.
  不好意思,无老师一下没控制住,写的跟原文类似了。罪过罪过!八戒,为了让为师心安,你变成一头领导!为师死的时候,一面红旗盖在为师的身上,你死的时候,一辆红旗压在你的身上。我弥陀佛,善哉,善哉!不过后半句话写的还是很有风范的。原句的add solid achievements to很显然类似于我们写推荐信时所用的solid background的表达方式,再加上一个achievement“成就”这样有正面感情色彩的词来进行点缀,更显得比record更有内涵!add solid achievements to真是好句好句!
  不过……其后的内容,优秀范例和平庸范例只能说是不分伯仲,今天的无老师作文巨讲堂也暂告一个段落。敬请期待《无老师作文巨讲堂6》^_^