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托福独立写作主题句如何练到简洁严谨

2015-01-28来源:互联网

  分析:对D同学所表达的主题句进行二次分析,他很轻松地就找出了这个句子的核心词,即“efficiency andproficiency”和“output and profit”。通过不到三分钟的思考,他围绕这几个单词进行因果关系的转述,再度写出来的主题句如下:Tobegin with, efficiency and proficiency can improve a company’s output andprofit.(13个单词,精简了22个单词,语义更加精炼。)

  例-2

  题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better tochoose a university whose graduates have good job opportunities than auniversity who has famous professors.

  E同学的主题句是这样写的:One of the main reasons that I consider a university whosegraduates have a good job opportunity is a better choice is that job canguarantee our future.(28个单词)

  分析:通过再次分析她的主题句,D同学进行了关键词的提取,即“good jobopportunities”和“future”,其它的内容均可进行适当削减。经过思考,她通过因果关系进行转述,再次表达出的主题句如下:Firstly, goodjob opportunities usually guarantee a promisingfuture.(9个单词,精简了19个单词,主题句更加开门见山。)

  【维度三:主题句的表述】

  (1)学生目标:通过主题句体现句式多样性;

  (2)学生普遍存在的问题:

  (3)教学重点:授课老师需要结合近年来的所有机经真题进行主题句练习的设计,在课程内容进入到主题句讲解之后,分批次将这些题目布置给学生操练,一个月的练习时间为宜。

  题目:It’s better to choose a university whose graduates have good jobopportunities than a university who has famous professors.

  分析:E同学的主题句是这么写的,“In the first place, famous professors can provide studentswith a better education.”就这个句子本身而言,已经合格,但是,考虑到托福独立写作的评分标准之一“SentenceVariety”,我们完全有理由教会学生在主题句上做足“句式多样性”的文章。将上述主题句发给另外一个经过近一个月写作训练的同学进行词句提升,一分钟即写了三个相关主题句出来,如下:

  1. It is illustrious professors that provide students with bettereducation;

  2. Illustrious professors are so decisive when they come to providingstudents with better education;

  3. Hardly can students expect to obtain better education withoutillustrious professors. 这已完全符合“逻辑严谨”、“言简意赅”和“句式多样”的要求。

  注:设计题目和学生配合练习是关键,建议在开课之后即进行写作学习规划,要细致到每一天,按照上述三个维度,分阶段推进。