Three Communication Tips that Will Take You to the Top

Business bookshelves are groaning under the weight of how-to books on leadership, communication, management, emotional intelligence and giving feedback.

As I work with organizations across the spectrum and watch who gets promoted and who gets passed over, I’ve noticed just a handful of core assets that are consistently sought out and rewarded.

    * Magic Asset #1: Forget giving feedback. Get good at receiving it.

      There is so much focus on how to give feedback. Surprisingly, there is little discussion of how to receive it. Yet it’s those who actively seek and respond well to feedback who tend to move up in organizations.

      The people around you have all kinds of thoughts about what you do well, and what you really need to improve upon. Though they’ll talk to others about you at the slightest provocation, they’re not likely to tell it to you. In fact, you may be the last to know about the little tic that’s driving others nuts or holding you back.

      If you can have a sense of humor and a genuine curiosity about what you may need to work on, you can get free career advice and coaching from people who have a wealth of experience both with you and how you impact others. You don’t have to follow all their advice, but others will admire your self-confidence and notice your improvements, which will also earn you respect.

    * Magic Asset #2: Take responsibility for your mistakes – early and often.

      Fearing blame or simply embarrassment, we often hide our mistakes or oversights. Didn’t call the client back? Claim you’ve been playing “phone tag.” Forgot to ship the materials on time? Get them out and silently hope for the best. Right?

      Wrong. Lying or trying to hide information about your missteps risks your most valuable asset – your reputation and people’s willingness to trust you. Better to own up to mistakes quickly, and fix them, demonstrating that you’re accountable and reliable and eager to learn.

    * Magic Asset #3: Bring your feelings to work (seriously).

      In an attempt to be “professional,” most of us strive to stay calm, rational and task oriented. We pretend we don’t have feelings while at work.

      But, of course, everyone has emotional reactions as we sit in meetings, read our email, and respond to the latest crises. Ironically, an attempt to hide or stifle those feelings is exactly what leads us to act in ways that are deemed “inappropriate” or “uNPRofessional.” Sarcasm, nastiness, petty sniping, yelling, crying, spamming – all these are the outward manifestations of anxiety, frustration, fear, guilt, hurt or helplessness leaking out while we’re trying to hold them in.

      It’s better to name your feelings – calmly and thoughtfully – than to let them drive you to being emotional. “I’m frustrated this is taking so long,” “I’m confused about why we keep going in circles,” or “I’m impatient because I’ve got a deadline looming – can I call you back?” All these are better and more competent than simply acting frustrated, impatient or confused.

      Nobody promotes that guy.