Dealing with Mr.Charisma

Do you ever find yourself in situations where you feel overwhelmed by the person who is speaking to you. It is as if their charisma and enthusiasm takes over and you just cannot seem to think for yourself. For a moment you are lost in a blur of their words.

The worst part is the fact that you cannot seem to regaincomposure or even assert your own opinion. What is the solution?

How to assert yourself in the face of a wave of charisma:

1 Break Rapport

What? Yes, break rapport but do so gently by adjusting yourposture and by changing your rate of breathing. Mr.Charisma hasyou locked into deep rapport with his every word and everymovement.

Until you regain your own pace, your own natural breathingrhythm and your own posture you will be subject to his lead.

Notice how you feel in your body, put some of your attention backonto yourself. Only then will you be able to think for yourselfand to form your own opinions.

2 Filter The Words

Once you have regained a sense of how you feel and think in thepresent moment it is time to filter the words that Mr.Charismaspeaks so eloquently. A filter will help you to maintain thissense of self and the ability to think for yourself.

A visual filter is easiest for some people. Imagine a wall in theair between you and him, a wall that filters the words so thatyou only hear the words without feeling drawn into his world.

Other people prefer a auditory filter. Imagine that your earscan be tuned in like a radio. You only hear the words not the waythe words are manipulated to effect your emotions.

Choose a filter that appeals to you and use it to help you thinkindependently so that you can evaluate what you are listening to.Why does this work? By using your imagination in this way, youare using the power of your right brain to help you get what youwant.

3 Take Back Time

Take time out from the onslaught. Either ask directly for time toconsider what is being said or occasionally repeat back what heis saying in your own words. By paraphrasing his words you willregain control of the flow of the conversation. You will alsobe showing that you are listening and understanding what isbeing discussed.

It is simple at this point to take charge by asking questions.Whoever is asking the questions is generally in charge of theconversation so use this skill to assert your authority. Then usethis time to decide what *you* think.

Mr.Charisma can easily take charge unless you understand how toregain composure. Break rapport, filter his words and take timeto formulate your own opinions.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm