Stop Scoring Own Goals

Own goals are actions, things we do, that stop us from reaching where we want to go or what we want to obtain. When we are out of focus, when we are out of tune with what's going on, when we do something which takes us in the opposite direction of where we were going or should be going, we have scored an own goal. Sometimes they happen accidentally, sometimes on purpose and sometimes simply because we try too hard.

First Own goal

To stop scoring the first own goal, answer the following questions:

What is my focus?

What do I want out of life?

When you have a clear focus then you become more aware of your capabilities and what you need to add to be successful. However, we usually do it the other way around. We work out what our capabilities are and then decide what we should focus on. We live our lives like a flea in a flea circus.

How do you train fleas? It's easy; first you collect them and put them in a match box. Then you close the box. They keep jumping, hitting all sides of the box, until they get a headache, and all of a sudden, the noise stops. You then open the box and the fleas will only jump to the height of the original match box.

How many of us are like this?

We have learned to jump only to the height of the box we have been kept in and sometimes at the direction of the trainer. The result is, even when you take us out of our boxes, we don't jump to our true potential.

To have a chance of reaching your true potential your focus must come from your feelings.

What would you really like to achieve in your life?

What is that hidden dream?

What is that thought that you are frightened to acknowledge?

IF YOU HAVE THE FOCUS THEN YOU WILL PICK UP THE CAPABILITIES ON THE WAY.

First identify your Focus

Our guess is that this is the way you have run the most successful parts of your life to date. You already have the experience.

If you know where you are going, then start looking at where the own goals are occurring. Are you scoring own goals because the enthusiasm is gone? If you have the right focus your enthusiasm is naturally high. Therefore if you don't have the enthusiasm for your focus you don't have the correct focus. Once you have identified it, it is important to keep your aim and objective in front of you. Let it drive all your thoughts and behaviours otherwise you will get lost on the way.

REMEMBER:

Your capabilities and skills will develop as you pursue the focus.

Your enthusiasm is affected by your focus.

Second Own goal

Another common way we stop ourselves from achieving is; we work out of the 'want box' rather than the 'need box'. It is important to differentiate WHAT YOU NEED FROM WHAT YOU WANT. If you pursue your needs rather than your wants then you have more chance of living a happier life and reaching your focus.

If you live in the want box (e.g. if only I had this, I would be happy) then you start putting conditions to your focus- the most common own goal we score.

Third Own goal

What type of relationship do you have with:

yourself

other people.

How you treat yourself?

How do you treat other people?

The best relationship can have is a Win/ Win, a relationship where I win and you do too. We both feel we have achieved what was possible. The result is acceptable to both sides. Neither person feels hurt, used or abused by the encounter. In a Win /Win relationship, I feel good about myself and I feel good about my focus; what I'm trying to achieve. When I do make mistakes I don't immediately become abusive to myself , I just stop to think and examine what's happened

Or, perhaps your style is a