BEC初级口语:成功的自我介绍
2010-08-04来源:和谐英语
3. 每个句子都要服务于一个目的，没有特别用处的句子要删掉。
原稿：
I was born in Chongqing, a blooming city in China. I havn’t met very big setbacks in my life. But my father came from the poor countryside, and slaved all day long with no assurance when the next meal will come when he was young. In the three years of famine in 1960s in China, He was almost starved to death. But he lived through finally and went into Sichuan University the best University in Sichuan Province by his struggle and fight. Now he is a famous professor in Department of Biology in a major University. My mother was born in Chongqing. The ten years of "Culture Revolution" wasted her youth and deprived her the chance of receiving university education. But she worked very hard and now is a minister of the ministry of personnel in a big corporation.
改后稿：
Although I grew up almost a pampered kid, I have learned of the scourge of poverty from my parents by listening to their stories about their childhood. My father, now a well-known professor of chemistry at the Sichuan University, was almost starved to death in the 1960s when his home village was mired in famine like many other parts of China. My mother, a manager of personnel with a major Chinese corporation, saw her youthful years slipping away in the chaotic "cultural revolution" period. Braving their trial and tribulation, they have always worked hard and are now well-established in their own careers. But they want more than a good life for themselves. They want to help make sure that no one in China will have to suffer in the future the way they did in the 1960s.
Prodded by my parents' high expectations, I have studied industriously over the years, drawing constant inspiration from the learning spirit prevalent on the campus of the Sichuan University, where my family had our home. While in primary and high school I was always recognized as the best student, for which I was sent to numerous national and provincial contests and earned many awards. These include a First Prize in the National Physics Contest of High School
原稿：
I am a person with a strong will and in order to realize my goal, I will overcome nearly all the difficulties. I dream to become an excellent person, that is the topic of my awarded essay in a composition contest in senior high school. In fact, I do act with that strong will in my previous life. I am a top student in studies, a versatile student in extracurricular activities and a popular student leader in class organization. I have got the championship in both municipal Math and English contests of high school students. With great ambition and continued success, I couldn't bear a little failure in my life. But when I grew up by and by, I have got to know that the most important thing is to always do your best whatever the result is. So I form a more optimistic and positive way in my life attitude. I will try my best to do everything I have made up my mind to do, but if the result is not exactly what I wish, I will not regret and torture myself. Life is tough; you can't win in every aspect and in any time.
改后稿：
I have a strong sense of purpose and am self-confident that I can achieve whatever I put my mind to. I know that the path to realizing my goals is not smooth. Obstacles are an inherent part of life. However, when faced with a challenging situation, I do my best to overcome any difficulty set before me. Whether I am working or studying, I always strive for excellence. I have always been at the top of my class academically, an active participant in extracurricular activities, and a popular student leader in class organizations. With great ambition and continued success, I have rarely experienced failure. As I matured though, I have come to realize that the most important thing is to always do your best, whatever the result. This optimistic and positive attitude has guided me through my studies and career.
原稿：
Born in June 1985, I grew up in a small village, which was surrounded by mountains and led to the outside world by a winding footpath. The special geographical environment gave me a strange impression when I was a little child. I always thought that the world was very simple. In my mind, my village was one edge of the earth and Beijing, the only city I had ever known, was the other end.
改后稿：
I grew up in a small village surrounded by mountains with only a makeshift footpath winding towards the outside world. As a child, this special living environment always gave me the impression that the world was very simple. In my mind, my village was one end of the earth and Beijing, the only city I had ever known of, was the other end. My world was very small although I didn’t realize it at the time.
原稿：
Though the education level in the village was rather low and I was two years younger than my classmates were, I kept ranking the first in the class. I was happy and satisfied until my family moved into The Big City, the capital of our province. I was shocked by the differences between rural and urban life. My simple world was broken. My new classmates looked down upon me because of my out-of-date dressing and my rural accent. I was far behind them in terms of academics. For one year I was like the ugly duckling among proud swans, self-abased and silent. My parents helped me a lot. They taught me how to adapt to a new environment and communicate with people. That was my first lesson in interpersonal communication. As time went by, I become more and more extroverted and confident. My grades also went upward rapidly. The most important thing is that I learned how to adjust myself to any new situation. I am recounting this experience of mine only to demonstrate a quality I possess-the ability to excel in the face of challenge.
改后稿：
I was first educated in the village with classmates who were two years my senior. This forced me to push myself and work diligently in order to keep up with them. Eventually the hard work paid off and I kept ranking first in the class. I was happy and satisfied until my family moved into The Big City, the capital of our province. Amid the shock by the differences between rural and urban life, my simple world was broken. New classmates looked down upon me because of my out-dated clothes and rural accent. To make matters worse, the education level in the village proved to be low and I was far behind in terms of academics. For one year I was like the ugly duckling among proud swans, self-abased and silent. Fortunately, my parents were extremely helpful, teaching me how to adapt to a new environment and communicate with people. I will always remember this as my first lesson in interpersonal communication. As time passed, my confidence grew, my grades went up rapidly and I became more and more extroverted. Most importantly, however, is that I learned how to adapt myself to a new situation, excelling in the face of challenge, which has proven to be an essential part of survival today.
原稿：
I was born in Chongqing, a blooming city in China. I havn’t met very big setbacks in my life. But my father came from the poor countryside, and slaved all day long with no assurance when the next meal will come when he was young. In the three years of famine in 1960s in China, He was almost starved to death. But he lived through finally and went into Sichuan University the best University in Sichuan Province by his struggle and fight. Now he is a famous professor in Department of Biology in a major University. My mother was born in Chongqing. The ten years of "Culture Revolution" wasted her youth and deprived her the chance of receiving university education. But she worked very hard and now is a minister of the ministry of personnel in a big corporation.
改后稿：
Although I grew up almost a pampered kid, I have learned of the scourge of poverty from my parents by listening to their stories about their childhood. My father, now a well-known professor of chemistry at the Sichuan University, was almost starved to death in the 1960s when his home village was mired in famine like many other parts of China. My mother, a manager of personnel with a major Chinese corporation, saw her youthful years slipping away in the chaotic "cultural revolution" period. Braving their trial and tribulation, they have always worked hard and are now well-established in their own careers. But they want more than a good life for themselves. They want to help make sure that no one in China will have to suffer in the future the way they did in the 1960s.
Prodded by my parents' high expectations, I have studied industriously over the years, drawing constant inspiration from the learning spirit prevalent on the campus of the Sichuan University, where my family had our home. While in primary and high school I was always recognized as the best student, for which I was sent to numerous national and provincial contests and earned many awards. These include a First Prize in the National Physics Contest of High School
原稿：
I am a person with a strong will and in order to realize my goal, I will overcome nearly all the difficulties. I dream to become an excellent person, that is the topic of my awarded essay in a composition contest in senior high school. In fact, I do act with that strong will in my previous life. I am a top student in studies, a versatile student in extracurricular activities and a popular student leader in class organization. I have got the championship in both municipal Math and English contests of high school students. With great ambition and continued success, I couldn't bear a little failure in my life. But when I grew up by and by, I have got to know that the most important thing is to always do your best whatever the result is. So I form a more optimistic and positive way in my life attitude. I will try my best to do everything I have made up my mind to do, but if the result is not exactly what I wish, I will not regret and torture myself. Life is tough; you can't win in every aspect and in any time.
改后稿：
I have a strong sense of purpose and am self-confident that I can achieve whatever I put my mind to. I know that the path to realizing my goals is not smooth. Obstacles are an inherent part of life. However, when faced with a challenging situation, I do my best to overcome any difficulty set before me. Whether I am working or studying, I always strive for excellence. I have always been at the top of my class academically, an active participant in extracurricular activities, and a popular student leader in class organizations. With great ambition and continued success, I have rarely experienced failure. As I matured though, I have come to realize that the most important thing is to always do your best, whatever the result. This optimistic and positive attitude has guided me through my studies and career.
原稿：
Born in June 1985, I grew up in a small village, which was surrounded by mountains and led to the outside world by a winding footpath. The special geographical environment gave me a strange impression when I was a little child. I always thought that the world was very simple. In my mind, my village was one edge of the earth and Beijing, the only city I had ever known, was the other end.
改后稿：
I grew up in a small village surrounded by mountains with only a makeshift footpath winding towards the outside world. As a child, this special living environment always gave me the impression that the world was very simple. In my mind, my village was one end of the earth and Beijing, the only city I had ever known of, was the other end. My world was very small although I didn’t realize it at the time.
原稿：
Though the education level in the village was rather low and I was two years younger than my classmates were, I kept ranking the first in the class. I was happy and satisfied until my family moved into The Big City, the capital of our province. I was shocked by the differences between rural and urban life. My simple world was broken. My new classmates looked down upon me because of my out-of-date dressing and my rural accent. I was far behind them in terms of academics. For one year I was like the ugly duckling among proud swans, self-abased and silent. My parents helped me a lot. They taught me how to adapt to a new environment and communicate with people. That was my first lesson in interpersonal communication. As time went by, I become more and more extroverted and confident. My grades also went upward rapidly. The most important thing is that I learned how to adjust myself to any new situation. I am recounting this experience of mine only to demonstrate a quality I possess-the ability to excel in the face of challenge.
改后稿：
I was first educated in the village with classmates who were two years my senior. This forced me to push myself and work diligently in order to keep up with them. Eventually the hard work paid off and I kept ranking first in the class. I was happy and satisfied until my family moved into The Big City, the capital of our province. Amid the shock by the differences between rural and urban life, my simple world was broken. New classmates looked down upon me because of my out-dated clothes and rural accent. To make matters worse, the education level in the village proved to be low and I was far behind in terms of academics. For one year I was like the ugly duckling among proud swans, self-abased and silent. Fortunately, my parents were extremely helpful, teaching me how to adapt to a new environment and communicate with people. I will always remember this as my first lesson in interpersonal communication. As time passed, my confidence grew, my grades went up rapidly and I became more and more extroverted. Most importantly, however, is that I learned how to adapt myself to a new situation, excelling in the face of challenge, which has proven to be an essential part of survival today.
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