剩女,你还在期待浪漫的爱情吗?

Women looking for a Mr Right should give up after 30 and settle for a Mr ­Second Best or a Mr Right Now.

女人一旦年过三十，就不要再苦苦寻找Mr. Right了，如果能找到差不多的或者处于现在进行时的，就该定下来了。

Lori Gottlieb, author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough, which is published in the UK next week, believes women who refuse to commit unless they find a man with whom they feel a deep, romantic love are consigning themselves to a lonely future.

Lori Gottlieb写了一本书，名叫《嫁给他：找个够好的就行了》。这本书下周即将在英国发售，她认为一个女人如果一定要找到一个能让自己陷入一段深深的浪漫的爱情才结婚，通常都落得孤独终身的下场。

"The theme of holding out for true love (whatever that is – look at the divorce rate) permeates our collective mentality," writes Gottlieb, a 40-year-old single mother who now admits she wishes she had "settled" for any of the "perfectly acceptable but uninspiring" men she rejected during her search for the perfect man.

Gottlieb本人是一个四十岁的单身妈妈，她写道，“坚持寻找真爱的想法已经渗透到了我们的灵魂（谁知道真爱是啥——看看现在的离婚率），”她在寻找完美男人期间拒绝了很多“完全可以接受但是不感兴趣”的人，她现在承认很希望自己早就和这样的人定下来。

"My dream, like that of my mother and her mother, was to fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Of course, women are loth to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won't tell you it's a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she'll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child)," she writes.

她写道，“我的梦想，像我妈妈和她妈妈一样，曾经是坠入爱河、结婚、然后从此过上幸福快乐的日子。当然，女人到了现在这种时代和年龄不喜欢承认这一点，但是，你问问任何愿意吐露心声的四十岁的异性恋女人，她们一生中最想要什么，通常她不会说想要更好的事业、更细的小蛮腰或者更大的房子。最有可能的是，她会说她非常想要个老公（再说开一点，一个孩子）”。

Gottlieb's book is based on an article she wrote in 2008 for the Atlantic magazine. The piece created such a sensation that it was picked up by Oprah Winfrey's O magazine and polarised readers. The debate caught the attention of Warner Independent and Tobey Maguire's Maguire Entertainment, which bought the book and film rights. Maguire intends to produce the film himself.

Gottlieb的书是在她2008年写给《亚特兰大》杂志的一篇文章的基础上写成的。这篇文章造成了轰动，奥普拉把这篇文章收入到自己的杂志《O》里面，在读者中也造成了两极分化的讨论。这场讨论引起了华纳独立影业和托比·马圭尔的马圭尔娱乐的注意，他们买下了这本书的版权和拍成电影的权利。马圭尔想自己制作这部电影。

Gottlieb blames feminism for the number of women who find themselves alone after spending years holding out for their white knight. To the outside world, says Gottlieb, these women still insist they are self-sufficient. "But in reality, we aren't fish who can do without a bicycle; we're women who want a traditional family," she writes. "Every woman I know – no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure – feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried."

现在有很多女人经年累月寻找白马王子最后只能独身一人，Gottlieb 为此责备女权主义者。Gottlieb说，这些女人对外界仍然坚称她们是自我满足的，“但是事实上，我们不是不需要自行车的鱼，我们是需要一个传统家庭的女人，”她写道，“我认识的每个女人——不管多成功多有野心，经济上和心理上多么安全——如果到了30岁还没结婚，都会觉得恐慌，偶尔还会伴随着绝望。”