单身男女最恨的九个问题

　　单身男女最恨的九大问题

　　The good thing about being single is that people are usually pretty willing to talk about your romantic life, because, let's face it, it's probably more entertaining than that of your seriously coupled-up friends.

　　单身的好处之一是人们往往很愿意谈论你浪漫的感情生活，面对现实吧，你的生活显然比那些已经成双成对的朋友来得丰富多彩些。

　　The bad news? Sometimes, people will want to talk about your love life regardless of whether or not you're in the mood to talk about it. And they will have opinions. And questions. And if you're single for long enough, a lot of these are gonna start sounding the same...

　　缺点呢？有时候，即便是你不想谈的时候，人们还是会抓着你的感情生活喋喋不休。而且他们总是有说不完的意见和问题。如果你单身的时间长了，就会一直听到下面这些换汤不换药的话：

　　1. "Are you seeing someone? Why not?"

　　“你有对象了吗？为什么没有呢？”

　　Amazingly, I get this question at least once a week. At least once a week! It's fun to turn the question around to the asker. "Why are you in a relationship?" "Because I'm in love!" "Right, well, I'm not." End of discussion!

　　你可能不相信，但我每周最少都能被问到一次这问题。一周一次还是最少的！想要找点乐子的话，我就会反问提问的人：“那你为什么有对象了呢？” “因为我找到爱情了啊。” “太对了，我就是没找到啊。” 讨论结束！

　　2. "Have you tried online dating?"

　　“你试过网恋吗？”

　　Online dating? What is this new fangledthing you speak of? (Of course we're online dating!)

　　网恋？你是在说什么新发明新创造吗？（这不是废话嘛！我当然正在网上找啦。）

　　3. "It'll happen when you least expect it."

　　“你不想找的时候，真命天子/女就会出现了。”

　　The problem is, if you're single and actively looking, then you're always kind of expecting it.

　　但问题是，如果你正单身而且有意结束单身，你很难不期待这种事。

　　4. "Oh my god, can I wing for you? I am such a good wingman."

　　“我的天哪，我帮你怎么样？我最擅长帮人牵线了。”

　　If you're single for long enough, you become sort of a toy, a pet project for your coupled up friends. They like to parade you out to bars and insist on wingingfor you, which is really just a way for them to vicariouslyexperience the "thrill" of picking someone up at a bar. The problem is that for them, it's all about the hunt, and not at all about finding someone with whom you would actually be compatiblein the long term (or even just in daylight). The end result is usually a huffyride home ("But I set it up perfectly for you! He was so into you! He was not that bad!") followed by the inevitable conclusion that you are single because you're picky and obviously imperviousto even the most nuancedand skillful winging.

　　如果你单身久了，你就成了身边已经有伴的朋友们眼中的玩具或者宠物什么的。他们总是想带你去酒吧，然后坚持要帮你找人搭讪。但事实上，这只是为了他们自己获得在酒吧帮人找伴的“快感”。对他们而言，最主要的找到一个合适的猎物，而不是找到一个你真的有可能长期交往下去（甚至只是在白天也能看）的人选。结果往往是互相抱怨着开车回家。（他们会说：“我不是给你找了个最好的嘛。他对你又这么有意思。他不错啦。”）然后就会归结到你单身就是因为你太挑剔，即便是他们这种最体贴最有本事的红娘也不能帮你找到心仪的人。

　　5. "You need to put yourself out there more!"

　　“你需要多出去接触接触。”

　　Out where, exactly? Whenever some helpful soul suggests this to me, I immediately picture myself in the middle of some crowded piazza, waving my arms around, saying "yooo-hoooo!"

　　出去？去哪儿？每次有好心人对我做这种建议的时候，我脑海里就会浮现这样的画面：自己身处一个人山人海广场中，挥动着双臂，声嘶力竭地喊着：“我在这儿呢！”