千奇百怪的公民入籍考试

There is turmoil in the strange world of citizenship tests. The UK is planning to revise its test for would-be Britons, adding questions on crucial issues such as the life of the poet Robert Browning. In France's test, introduced this month, applicants must obviously know about Brigitte Bardot. Meanwhile a recent survey by Xavier University found that more than one-third of Americans would fail their own country's naturalisation test. Only 8 per cent could name even one author of the Federalist Papers. And Denmark is quietly scrapping its test. No wonder that no country seems quite happy with its citizenship test. Being a citizen has little to do with what's in your head.
千奇百怪的公民入籍考试领域目前出现了动荡。英国正计划修订针对入籍申请者的考试，增加一些关键的问题，如诗人罗伯特•勃朗宁(Robert Browning)的生平。在本月推出的法国公民入籍考试中，申请者显然必须了解碧姬·巴铎(Brigitte Bardot)。与此同时，泽维尔大学(Xavier University)最近的一项调查显示，超过三分之一的美国人可能通不过本国的入籍考试。只有8%的人能够说出《联邦党人文集》(Federalist Papers)的任何一名作者。同时丹麦正在悄悄放弃该国的入籍考试。难怪没有哪个国家似乎对其公民入籍考试非常满意。成为一个国家的公民与头脑里装了什么没有太大关系。

Tests for wannabe immigrants or citizens came into vogue in the era after September 11 2001. Most seemed designed to weed out Muslim fundamentalists. The Netherlands made this most explicit: along with its test, it released an integratiefilm featuring a gay wedding and topless Dutchwomen. These images were presumably meant to shock Muslims out of coming to the Netherlands, just as they would have shocked most Dutch people of a generation ago. The idea was so brilliant that the anti-immigrant Danish People's Party proposed sticking breasts into Denmark's film. However, the Dutch soon had to offer a breast-free version of their film, after discovering that diligent, aspirant Dutchmen caught with the hardcore version in, say, Afghanistan, might get into difficulty.
针对移民或公民申请者的考试，是在2011年9月11日之后流行起来的。多数此类考试似乎意在淘汰穆斯林原教旨主义者。荷兰的态度最为明确：除了实行考试制度外，还发行一部带有同性恋婚礼和无上装妇女镜头的荷兰生活宣传片。这些画面想必是为了吓走穆斯林，使他们不敢来荷兰（一代人以前，这些画面也会吓着大部分荷兰人）。这个创意如此"高超"，以至于反对移民的丹麦人民党(Danish People's Party)也提议在该国电影中加入乳房画面。然而，荷兰很快发现，有志成为荷兰人的勤奋的、有上进心的外国人如果在阿富汗这样的地方被发现带着这种片子，可能会遇到麻烦。于是，荷兰不得不删除宣传片中的乳房镜头。

The Iraqi refugee Rodaan al Galidi, who wrote a prizewinning novel in Dutch, failed the Netherlands' integration test. He explained afterwards: "I don't know when a woman gets her period after a miscarriage, because I have never been pregnant. I can prove that."
曾经用荷兰语写了一部获奖作品的伊拉克难民卢达恩∙阿尔∙加里迪(Rodaan al Galidi)没能通过入籍考试。后来他解释说："我不知道女士在流产之后什么时候会再来例假，因为我从未怀孕过。我可以证明。"

Other countries took the high road. The UK felt that prospective Britons should have some familiarity with the Magna Carta. At a debate on the matter in London, someone asked who in the room had actually read the Magna Carta. Of the several hundred overeducated Londoners present, only two or three raised their hands.
其他国家选择比较阳春白雪的内容。英国认为准英国人应该熟悉《大宪章》(Magna Carta)。在伦敦关于这个话题的一场辩论中，有人问在场的人中谁真正读过《大宪章》，在场的几百位受过高等教育的伦敦人中只有两三个人举手。

Every country has made much the same discovery: few natives can answer basic constitutional questions. The German Green politician Volker Beck said Germany's citizenship test "expects knowledge that Germans only have after they've studied law for a semester".
每个国家都得出了同样的结论：土生土长的人中很少有人能够回答基本的宪法问题。德国绿党政界人士富克尔•贝克(Volker Beck)表示，德国的公民入籍考试"要求掌握德国人需要学过一学期的法律才能具备的知识。"

Immigrants memorise the answers, and generally pass, though it's doubtful how much knowledge sticks. A Filipina I know recently attended her day-long "citizenship course" in Paris. That evening I asked her what she'd learnt. There was this European organisation, she said, which excluded Turkey. Or maybe, she added, it included Turkey. What had most impressed her that day were the constant meal breaks, which may indeed be the best introduction to Frenchness.
移民们通过死记硬背，一般能够通过考试，尽管他们真正消化吸收了多少知识令人怀疑。我认识的一个菲律宾女士最近参加了巴黎一个全天的"公民课程"。当天晚上我问她都学到了什么。她说，有一个什么欧洲的组织，不包括土耳其，后来她又补充说，可能也包括土耳其在内。那天给她印象最深刻的是接二连三的进餐休息时间，这或许的确是引导她熟悉法国生活方式的最好方式。