当妻子挣得更多时 你怎么想?

I'm one of the 40% of American women, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, who are the breadwinners for their families-that is, we earn more than our husbands. Like millions of my sisters, this puts me smack in the middle of a distinctively modern dilemma: how to handle the tensions of a marriage between an alpha woman and a beta man.
根据美国劳工统计局(Bureau of Labor Statistics)的数据，美国有40%的女性是家中的顶梁柱──也就是说，她们的收入比自己的丈夫要高。而我就是这40%中的一员。如同我那数百万名女性同胞一样，这让我陷入了当代社会独有的一个困境之中：该如何面对夫妻之间因女强男弱而带来的紧张关系。

My husband, an antiques restorer whose field has all but evaporated as a result of the recession, does his best to help with chores and child care, while earning enough to pay utilities and car-insurance bills. I'm the one who works an octopus-armed 12- to 14-hour day, often seven days a week. When I finally come to bed, I'm depleted and vibrating with anxiety.
我先生是一位古董修复师，而由于经济衰退，他这个行当几乎是全军覆没了。我先生挣来的钱足够支付水电煤气的费用，以及我们的汽车保险费，与此同时，他还在尽力帮着做家务和照顾孩子。我是家中那个每天像八爪鱼似的工作12到14个小时而且往往一周要工作七天的人。终于能上床睡觉时，我总是筋疲力尽，心中还充满了焦虑。

We're hardly alone. Over the past couple of years, articles and books have declared that the end of men is nigh and that female alphas are surging. The husbands of these hard-charging women have largely been painted either as stay-at-home slacker dudes who play videogames (while their toddlers pee on the rug for the third time that day) or saint-like dads who supportively cook, clean and run errands, to say nothing of handling doctors' appointments and homework assignments.
我们并不是特例。过去几年间，不少文章和书籍都曾宣称，男性主导的时代行将结束，强势的女性正在崛起。躲在那些冲锋陷阵女性背后的男士们大多被描述成两类：要么是宅在家里整天打游戏的懒鬼（而这时候他们蹒跚学步的孩子却一天之内第三次尿在了地毯上），要么就是圣人一般伟大的爸爸，全力支持妻子，会做饭、打扫房间、跑腿做杂事，更不用说处理跟医生预约以及帮着孩子完成家庭作业这类事情了。

Such portraits are exaggerated, of course, and represent the extremes of a continuum. Perhaps because men of this generation were raised in the wake of the women's movement, a culture that introduced values of equality, many of them don't seem to have a problem with their wives earning more than they do.
当然，这类描述都有些夸张，只代表了普罗大众中的极端特例。或许由于这一代男性是在女权运动（女权运动起到了启蒙平等价值观的作用）发生之后长大的，因此他们中的许多人对于妻子挣得比自己多这样的事情并不介意。

There's one caveat, though: The men want their own salaries alone to be enough, in theory, to float the family. When they can't meet this standard, they can feel enraged, shamed, explosive. And their wives often feel resentful and pressured.
不过这里有个前提条件：男性们希望自己的收入，从理论上，足以支付家中的日常开支。当达不到这个标准时，他们会感觉愤怒、羞愧和暴躁。而他们的妻子往往会感觉到不满和压力。

'I don't think so much about gender roles, but I do feel angry and helpless because I can't financially support the family unit,' says Greg McFadden, 39, an actor and stay-at-home dad, whose wife, Shannon Hummel, 38, serves as breadwinner (they have one child, age 6). She works as a teacher and as artistic director of a Brooklyn dance company. 'I'm sick of reading these articles and daddy blogs, about how 'empowered' men are to be caretakers. Ask them how they feel about not earning a paycheck.'
现年39岁的格雷格•麦克法登(Greg McFadden)是一位演员，也是一位居家父亲，他38岁的妻子香农•赫梅尔(Shannon Hummel)是养家的主力（他们有一个孩子，今年六岁）。香农是一位老师，同时在布鲁克林一家舞蹈公司任艺术总监。格雷格说，“我不是特别介意性别角色，不过由于我不能从财力上支撑一个家，我的确会感觉懊恼无助。我烦透了那些爸爸们写的男性在照顾家庭方面如何‘强大’之类的文章和博客了，问问他们挣不到钱什么感觉吧。”