当妻子挣得更多时 你怎么想?

How many families are in this situation? It depends a lot on income level. An April report by the Center for American Progress looked at U.S. women who earn as much or more than their husbands and found that 34% of wives in families with incomes in the top 20% are the breadwinners, whereas 70% of those in the bottom 20% are. Roughly half of wives are the breadwinners in middle-income families.
有多少美国家庭处于这种状况？这很大程度上取决于收入水平。美国进步中心(Center for American Progress)今年4月份发表了一份关于收入水平与丈夫相同或者更高女性的报告。这份报告显示，家庭收入位列全美前20%的家庭中，女性是养家主力的比例是34%，而在家庭收入最低的20%家庭中，女性收入较高的比例是70%。对于中等收入家庭而言，女性为养家主力的比例大约是一半。

The emotional dynamic between these women and their husbands also varies greatly, depending on family circumstances. In a recent poll of 400 female breadwinners conducted by the women's financial media site DailyWorth.com, only 22% of wives without children felt a negative impact on their marriages. But it was a different story for women with children-36% felt their higher earnings had a negative effect.
由于家庭环境不同，女性和她们丈夫之间的情感互动状况也大不相同。女性理财网站DailyWorth.com近来对400位作为养家主力的女性进行了一项调查，结果显示，其中没有孩子的女性中，只有22%的人感觉她们的婚姻受到了负面影响。不过对于有孩子的女性来说，则完全是另外一回事儿了，其中36%的人感觉比丈夫收入高对她们的婚姻产生了负面影响。

An obvious sore spot with many husbands in such marriages is the reversal of traditional gender roles. In San Diego, former airline-shuttle operator Conan Cott, the husband of U.S. Navy computer-systems and organization specialist Michele Cott, has been caring for the couple's 4-year-old twins since they were born. While Conan says 'it is great to be able to see my children grow and learn,' his role as keeper of the home rankles. 'The lawn needs to be watered, the cat box is stinky, there are dirty socks in the living room, silverware in the grass out back, and I can't get those children to get to bed at 7:30 no matter how hard I try,' he says.
对于处于这样婚姻状况的许多男性而言，一个显然不能触碰的痛处在于，传统的性别角色被颠倒了。圣地亚哥前机场大巴司机科南•科特(Conan Cott)自孩子出生起就一直在家照顾他们现如今已经四岁的一对双胞胎。科南的妻子米歇尔•科特(Michele Cott)是美国海军电脑系统和组织方面的专家。虽然科南说，“能够看着我的孩子们一天天成长并学会新东西，这很棒。”不过管家的角色却让他有些头痛，他说，“草地该浇水了，猫砂已经臭烘烘的了，卧室里到处都是臭袜子，银餐具丢在外面的草地上，而不管我多努力，都没办法在7:30前让孩子们上床睡觉。”

Michele says, 'I hear myself saying things that the stereotypical husband says, and he replies with the stereotypical wife response. All of this puts immense pressure on our marriage.'
米歇尔说，“我听见自己在说着那些典型的丈夫们说的话，而他的回答也是典型的妻子们的回答。所有这些都让我们的婚姻承受着巨大的压力。”

In New York City, Matthew Perry works part-time while his wife M.P. has a high-paying office job as an editor. Matthew feels taken for granted and professionally trapped in the way that many contemporary stay-at-home moms often do. 'M.P. doesn't have to worry about having to cover child care here and there. It's always me who has to subtract from my work day,' he says.
住在纽约市的马修•佩里(Matthew Perry)从事兼职工作，而他的妻子M.P.是一位拿着高薪的编辑。如同许多当代的居家妈妈那样，马修感觉自己在职业方面陷入了困境。他说，“M.P.不必为如何照顾孩子而操心。不得不从工作中分心出来的那个人总是我。”

Pressure eases up-and perceptions seem to change-when husbands' salaries are enough to support the family should the wives' pay evaporate. That's the case with public-relations executive Alison Risso, 39, who makes twice as much as her husband, Jon, a civil engineer; their children are aged 6 and 8. The way Jon sees it, he and his wife want different things from their careers but share the same family goals and values.
若是丈夫的薪酬足以在妻子没有收入的情况下支撑起这个家，那么压力会缓和许多，而且双方的看法似乎也会不一样。艾莉森•瑞索(Alison Risso)一家就是这种情况。今年39岁的艾莉森是一位负责公关业务的高层管理者，她的收入是她做土木工程师的丈夫乔恩(Jon)的两倍。他们有两个孩子，一个六岁，一个八岁。在乔恩看来，他和妻子只是在职业道路上所追求的目标有所不同，但俩人在家庭目标和价值观上是一致的。

'I'm not the ambitious type like Alison, so I'm happy for her to make more money because there is no pressure on me to have to work my way up the ladder to become vice president,' Jon says. Plus, less executive responsibility translates into more flexibility to work on a family-friendly schedule. He is home on time to pick the children up from school and cook dinner, since Alison is rarely back from the office before 7 p.m.
乔恩说，“我不像艾莉森那么雄心勃勃，因此她挣钱更多我也很开心，因为这样我就没有压力了，不必非要去奋力拼搏当上副总裁不可了。”另外，工作上少一些管理方面的职责意味着可以有更灵活的时间安排来处理家中的事情。由于艾莉森很少在晚上七点前从办公室回来，乔恩便会准时回家接孩子放学、做晚饭。

As for the Brooklyn couple Shannon and Greg, they've arrived at a workable, if sometimes shaky, arrangement. She acknowledges that she has to be better at appreciating Greg's difficulties in juggling both child care and uNPRedictable work. But she also insisted that she needs a vacation. 'I want to go away for two weeks in the summer, and that means that to swing it, we're house-swapping and cooking all our own food,' she says. 'But it's worth it. That reward needs to be there, or the whole thing falls apart.'
至于上文提到过的布鲁克林的香农和格雷格，他们已经做出了一个可行的安排，尽管这安排也许不一定奏效。香农承认她必须给予格雷格更多的理解，体谅他一边照料孩子一边面对不稳定的工作时的辛苦。不过她也坚持说，自己需要一个假期。她说，“今年夏天我想离开两周，这意味着会有些变化，我们会和别人交换住房，然后全部自己做饭吃。不过，这样做也值得。需要有些奖励，否则整个家可能会都垮掉。”

Greg says, 'When you reach philosophical agreement, it does help melt away resentment. But even though we're on the same page, we're not really there yet. It's a work in progress.'
格雷格说，“当你们豁达地取得了一致，这的确有助于缓解各自的怨恨情绪。不过尽管我们的想法达成了大体一致，但我们尚未真正做到。我们还在努力中。”