哈佛毕业生亲述：我在哈佛的经历简直是噩梦！

Eric Kester experienced the Harvard no one talks about.
埃里克-凯斯特从没向别人提起过他所经历的别样哈佛生活。

His tenure at Harvard is the stuff of nightmares. He survived a brush with a cheating ring, being locked out of his dorm on the first day of school in just his boxers, and being the only one of his friends to move home jobless after graduation.
他的哈佛学习经历如同噩梦一般。考试时险些作弊，入学第一天仅穿一条四角短裤把自己锁在宿舍外，毕业后朋友都找到了工作而自己却待业在家。

Kester, who graduated in 2008, admits that he barely survived "the world's most famous university," and he recaps it all in his recently released tell-all memoir, "That Book About Harvard."
2008年毕业的凯斯特承认，他是勉强从这所“世界最著名高等学府”毕业的。在他近期发表的自传体回忆录《有关哈佛的那本书》中，又全盘重述了那段经历。

Kester wrote a humor column for The Crimson, Harvard's student newspaper, and wrote for CollegeHumor.com after graduating. Once a publisher read about his mishaps at Harvard, Kester was encouraged to write a book.
凯斯特曾为哈佛校报《绯红》撰写过一个搞笑栏目，毕业后还为CollegeHumor.com网站投稿。一个出版商偶尔读到关于他在哈佛的悲惨经历，就鼓励他写作出书。

"Everyone seemed more accomplished than me, better than me," Kester said. "That's a lot of the same anxiety at any college, but it's really intensified there at Harvard."
“大家看起来都比我成功，比我优秀，” 凯斯特说，“任何大学的很多学生都存在这样的焦虑，可实际上哈佛学生的感觉来得更强烈。”

Kester's lack of confidence was justified: At Harvard, he was surrounded by brilliant minds, including Mark Zuckerberg, who was one of his classmates. Kester also joked (well, actually he was serious) that everyone at Harvard was valedictorian of their high school class.
凯斯特缺乏自信也在情理之中，哈佛大学里人才济济，Facebook的创始人马克-扎克伯格就曾经是他的同学。凯斯特还开玩笑说（其实他是认真的）：哈佛学生都曾代表他们的高中班级致过告别辞。

Some of the facts in the book are skewed and names changed. But Kester assures readers that the craziest stuff in his memoir—the events that seem impossible, like being caught in his underwear and experiencing party mishaps—actually did happen.
书中一些事实有些出入，人物名字也做了改动，但凯斯特向读者保证，自传中最疯狂的事情——貌似不可能发生的那些事情的确发生了，例如仅穿着内裤在众目睽睽下亮相，以及晚会遭遇悲惨命运等。

"I tell my parents it didn't actually happen though," Kester said. "It makes them feel better."
凯斯特说：“我告诉父母这些故事是虚构的，才使他们感觉好一点。”

Kester couldn't catch a break from the start. On his first day at school, freshman move-in day, he locked himself out of his dorm room. He was wearing just his boxers. To get the spare key to his room, Kester had to walk across Harvard Yard, which was filled with hundreds of students and parents, in just his underwear.
霉运从一开始就缠上了凯斯特。入学第一天也就是就是新生入学日，他把自己锁在宿舍门外，当时只穿一条内裤。如此装束的凯斯特必须穿过聚集着上千名学生和家长的哈佛校园，才能拿到备用钥匙。