实用社交课堂:5种方式建立人际关系网

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and probably some friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are simply not fulfilling.
每个人都有交际，都有认识的人、亲戚、同事、邻居还有一些朋友。但对很多人来说，以上这些人际关系并不尽人意。

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.
不尽人意是因为关系不牢靠，而关系不牢靠则是因为缺乏深交。

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.
可是，当今社会人与人之间的关系向来淡薄，而这种淡薄的人际关系又怎会让人顺心如意呢？

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.
根据做我做交流与自信力培训教练的经验，我可以教你怎样使人际关系升华、变牢靠，使你的社交生活更加丰富多彩。

1. Meet More People
1. 多认识人

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.
显然这有点自相矛盾，但人际“质量”确实跟交往“数量”有很大关系。

If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.
如果你交游寥寥，一年四季只结交一两个人，想想你还有那么多各种各样不曾结识的人，那你确实很难认识跟自己脾气、爱好、观念相投的人了。

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.
而性格相投对牢固的人际关系又是如此关键，所以那样你更难有机会建立良好的人际关系了。

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.
相反，如果你经常出去结识各种各样的人，社交圈就会不断扩大，你会喜欢跟脾气相投的人打成一片，而这些人极有可能成为你的好朋友、好基友等等。

This is why it’s important to meet more people.
所以多结交朋友很重要。

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You
2. 讲讲自己在乎的事情

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.
当两个人发现彼此的信仰和兴趣都很相像时，俩人的关系必然会加深。确实，价值观和兴趣爱好都能搭建起牢固的情感纽带。

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life.
我发现很多人的交谈都比较泛泛。人们一般只会谈些天气、电视节目、电影明星八卦等琐碎话题，很少触及各自生活中他们最在乎的部分。

This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.
我觉得这样大错特错，是扼杀一段人际关系的杀手锏。

Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.
应该谈些自己在乎的话题，让别人知道你关心什么、相信什么。如果碰巧他们相信和在乎的事情刚好跟你的一样，他们肯定会迫不及待地跟你分享。这样你便能找到有趣的共同话题，你们的关系也会更加亲密了。