炫婚炫富炫宝宝,如何告知朋友别再晒幸福

So how do you know how much personal chat is enough? Finding that fine line requires sensitivity to the prevailing culture where you work. It sounds as if you and your colleagues, except for Chatty Cathy, have figured this out. If nobody else is going on at length about their kids or trying to show everyone their vacation snapshots, it's obviously wise to refrain.
那么，怎么才能知道分享私生活的限度在哪里呢？这需要你对工作场所的主流文化保持敏感。从你说的情况看，除了那个话唠同事以外，办公室里的其他人都对这一点心知肚明。如果大家都没有长篇大论地聊自己的孩子，或者到处展示自己的度假快照，那么你不这样做显然是明智之举。

Beyond that, Pachter has two rules: First, she says, "If you have strong political beliefs, they're best kept to yourself. Politics can change someone's whole opinion of you, often for the worse -- and, considering it's extraneous to the job you're doing, is it worth it?"
除此之外，帕切特还有两条法则。她说，第一条是，“如果你有坚定的政治信仰，最好别让人知道。要不然，别人对你的看法可能会完全改变，而且往往是向不好的方向转变——再说了，政治信仰与你的工作毫无关系，为这种事情影响你的前途，值得吗？”

And second, she says, "Never, ever share anything that could be used against you later. Especially, don't talk about any situation where you may have acted less than ethically." In her consulting work, Pachter is frequently amazed at some of the things people brag to coworkers about. "There are people who actually believe it makes them look clever if they reveal that, for instance, a store clerk gave them too much change and they took it without saying anything," she says. "Often, people just don't realize how they're coming across to colleagues -- and some people just talk too much, period."
帕切特的第二条法则是，“切记，永远不要给人留下把柄。不光彩的事情尤其说不得。”在担任顾问期间，帕切特总是惊讶地发现，一些匪夷所思的事情也会有人拿来跟同事吹嘘。“事实上还有人觉得，这种事情说出去会显得自己很高明——比方说店员找多了的零钱，自己一声不响地收下，”她说。“人们往往根本就没有意识到，自己说出去的话会给同事造成什么样的印象——有些人纯粹就是话太多，就这么回事。”

Which brings us back to your dilemma with your teammate. "You must speak up and let her know" that her behavior is making her persona non grata around the office, Pachter says: "If the situation were reversed and you were doing something that was making people roll their eyes and try to avoid you, wouldn't you want someone to warn you?"
这就回到了你所面临的两难选择——究竟应不应该提醒同事。“你必须说出来，让她知道”自己的行为在办公室成了众矢之的，帕切特表示，“换做是你在办公室里做了什么事情让同事不齿，乃至避免和你打交道，你也会希望有人能提醒你吧？”

Assuming you would, "start with that. Ask this coworker if she's open to some feedback, and explain that you'd want to hear this if you were in her place. Then describe the effect that her constant personal talk is having on her credibility as a professional, and suggest she put away the vacation photos and talk less about her home life."
假设你希望是这样。“那么你可以先从这里着手。问一问那个同事，看她想不想听一些反馈，解释一下换做是你，也希望有人能提醒自己。然后告诉她，在办公室里没完没了地聊私生活有损她的专业形象，建议她把度假照片收起来，少谈一点家庭生活。”

It might help to cushion the criticism by stressing that you do, as you note, regard her as bright and capable and you'd hate to see this one quirk hold her back. "Say you're concerned about her reputation," Michael Crom advises. "You could point out that the rest of your colleagues tend to reserve most of their personal talk for lunch hours and other break times" —-- and that your boss seems to prefer that. Good luck.
你也承认自己的同事聪明能干，可以把这一点跟她说明，告诉她，你不希望这种小习惯挫伤她的积极性。这样做或许可以缓和你对她的批评语气。“告诉她，你在乎她的名声，”迈克尔?克罗姆。“还可以指出，其他同事一般都只在午饭或休息时间谈论私事。”——而且你的老板似乎也喜欢这么做。祝你好运。

Talkback: Have you ever worked with someone who talked too much about her life outside work? Do you think the tendency toward TMI is spreading? Leave a comment below.
读者反馈：你有没有遇到过太爱聊个人私生活的同事？你觉得职场话唠是不是越来越常见？欢迎留言评论。