你不会聊天：10个常见的对话错误

Every conversation seems like a battlefield to you. You have to make everyone agree with what you have to say, so you never back down. You’re always right, right?
每一场聊天对你来说都如同战场。你要让每个人都同意你所说的，所以你从来不会让步。你总是对的，是吗？

Solution: Accept the fact that everyone is entitled to his own opinions. You don’t need to force them into agreeing with you—they’ll just choose to walk away from you instead. Arrogance causes some of these common mistakes in a conversation to happen. Stay humble.
解决办法：每个人都有权有自己的观点，要接受这个事实。你没有必要强迫他人同意你，否则他们会选择远离你。自大会让你在聊天中犯这种常见的错误，要谦虚。

7. Do you talk about awkward topics with a person you barely know?
你是否和一个你不怎么了解的人谈论尴尬的话题？

“Hey, I just met you, but listen to me talk about my past relationships, my nagging digestive problems and my balding hair.”
“嗨，我们刚认识，不过听我来聊聊我之前的恋情，我讨厌的消化问题还有我的秃头吧。”

Solution: Stay away from topics involving religion, sex, politics and negativity, especially when you’ve just become acquainted with someone. Focus on safe topics such as hobbies, common interests and the topic of the conference you’re in.
解决办法：远离那些涉及到宗教、性、政治和消极性的话题，尤其是你刚刚认识某人的时候。专注于那些安全的话题，比如爱好、共同兴趣，以及你参加过的会议议题。

8. Are you really listening?
你是否真的在倾听？

You’re really just waiting for the other person to stop talking so that you can get your turn. Ha, you’re going to wow them with your speaking skills—who cares what they say?
你其实只是在等待对方结束讲话，这样就轮到你讲了。是呀，你会用你的讲话技巧让他们大为赞赏，谁在乎他们在说什么呢？

Solution: Put your pride on hold and really hear what your talking partner is telling you. Learn to read between the lines. Observe his body language. Avoid asking “yes or no” questions and probe deeper instead. You’re there to listen, not to merely hear.
解决办法：收起你的骄傲，真正去倾听对方对你说的话。学会解读,观察他的肢体语言，避免问用是或否来回答的问题，而是更深的探索。你是来倾听的，而不只是听见。

9. Are you rude to the person you’re talking to?
你是否对待和你聊天的人很粗鲁？

You think you’re better than your talking partner so you don’t think about respecting their opinions. Sure, you use polite language and you mind your manners, but your words offend and your attitude challenges them.
你认为你比和你聊天的人要更棒，所以你不去尊重他们的观点。当然，你用语礼貌，举止文明，但你的话语冒犯了他们，你的态度是在挑衅。

Solution: How you communicate is better than what you communicate. Before you aim to communicate, aim to respect first.
解决办法：你沟通的方式比你沟通的内容更重要。你在想要沟通之前，要先学会尊重。

10. Is your body language driving them away?
你的肢体语言是否把他人赶跑了？

You would like to start communicating with people but no one seems to want to talk to you. Why? Your arms are crossed, you’re slouching and your eyebrows are furrowed—that’s why.
你想要和他人开始聊天，但好像没有人愿意和你聊。为什么？你抱着双臂，无精打采，眉头紧皱——这就是原因。

Solution: Relax.Communication is all about openness and community. Look at people in the eye. Smile more. Stand up straight. You got this.
解决办法：放松。交流是关于坦率和群体的活动。眼睛看着对方，多一些微笑，站直。你就做到了。