老板就是不喜欢你 该要怎么办

Dear Annie: I’ve had my current job as a human resources manager for about a year-and-a-half, and everything was going fine until we got a new boss from outside the department. He seems to have a need to do everything himself. I’ve also come across instances where he has snooped behind my back to find out what I’ve been doing. Today, I found out he asked my admin for details of my attendance at the office, “just to check” on me.
亲爱的安妮：我从事目前人力资源经理的工作已有一年半时间，之前一切顺利，直到从其他部门空降来一位新老板。他似乎喜欢事必躬亲。我还在无意中发现，他居然暗中窥探我做的事情。今天，我发现他在向我的行政人员打听我的出勤情况，只是为了“查查”我。

At the same time, he is really nice to other members of my team, which leads me to conclude that, for some reason, he just doesn’t like me. In the beginning, I tried to build a rapport with him but, after being snubbed more than once, I just don’t want to make the effort any more. Is there anything I can do, besides find a new boss? — Odd Man Out
但与此同时，他对我的其他团队成员却非常友好。于是，我得出了这样一个结论：由于某些原因，他一定不喜欢我。最初，我曾尝试过与他建立和谐的关系，但不止一次的冷遇让我不想再付出任何努力。除了找一位新老板，我还能做些什么吗？——O.M.O.

Dear O.M.O.: You probably don’t want to hear this but, if you want to stay in this job, you’re going to have to keep trying. “This is hard, because you have to humble yourself a little and find a way to see things from this manager’s point of view,” says Karin Hurt, CEO of Baltimore-based executive coaching firm Let’s Grow Leaders. She wrote a book, Overcoming an Imperfect Boss: A Practical Guide to Building a Better Relationship with Your Boss, that you might find useful.
亲爱的O.M.O.：有句话或许你不爱听，但如果你希望继续当前的工作，恐怕还得努力尝试。巴尔的摩高管培训公司Let’s Grow Leaders的CEO卡琳o赫特说：“这种事很难，因为你必须放下身段，尽量从老板的角度来看待问题。”她曾写过一本书——《征服不完美的老板：如何与老板建立更好的关系》（Overcoming an Imperfect Boss: A Practical Guide to Building a Better Relationship with Your Boss），这本书或许会对你有用。

A good starting point: Assume nothing. The fact that this boss came in from the outside is significant, because it means he may be used to doing things in a different way. “A certain amount of micromanagement and what looks like ‘snooping’ may just be standard behavior in the organization he came from,” Hurt notes. “It’s annoying, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you.”
一个很好的起点是：不要做任何假设。你的老板来自外部，这个事实非常重要，因为这意味着他或许习惯了不同的工作方式。赫特说：“在他原先的部门，一定程度的微观管理和看起来像是‘窥探’的行为可能只是一种标准行为方式。虽然这种方式令人不快，但却并不意味着他一定不喜欢你。”

Try (again) to engage this boss in a conversation and “make it about you, not about him. What can you do differently that would help the two of you work better together?” Hurt points out that he may be going behind your back and asking others about your work because he isn’t hearing enough from you directly. “Ask what kind of information he wants or needs from you, and on what kind of schedule,” she suggests. Once you start delivering it, the “snooping” may stop.
（再次）尝试与这位老板进行对话，对话的主题应该是“你，而不是他。你能做出哪些改变，帮助双方更融洽地共事？”赫特指出，他背地里向其他人询问你的工作，可能只是因为从你这里直接听到的信息不够。她建议：“询问对方希望或需要你提供哪些信息，以及提供信息的时间安排。”只要你开始提供他需要的信息，“窥探”行为或许就会停止。