老板就是不喜欢你 该要怎么办

In Overcoming an Imperfect Boss, Hurt suggests a list of 10 questions you could ask—ideally in a casual setting (over lunch, for instance), but in a formal appointment at the office if need be. Two of the most important: “If your boss were to give me one piece of advice, what would it be?”; and “What could I be doing to make your job easier?” You might be surprised at the answers, and just making the effort to find out could be enough to win your boss over. Notes Hurt, “It’s hard to dislike someone who’s sincerely asking for feedback and advice.”
在《征服不完美的老板》一书中，赫特建议你可以提出十个问题——最好是在非正式场合（例如午餐时间），但如果有必要，也可以在办公室进行正式的约谈。其中两个最重要的问题是：“如果你的老板要给你一条建议，会是什么呢？”以及“我能做些什么来减轻你的工作负担？”问题的答案或许会令你大感意外，但光是为寻找答案付出的努力就足以帮你赢得老板的善意。赫特说：“人们很难对诚恳寻求反馈和建议的人心生厌恶。”

Let’s say you do that and nothing changes. Hurt suggests trying these three tactics.
假如你做了上面的努力，情况却没有丝毫改变。赫特建议尝试下面三种战术。

Make sure you’re terrific at your job. “You need to take a hard look at your own performance,” and even seek out honest feedback from peers, because “it’s hard to argue with success,” Hurt says. “We’ve all worked with people we weren’t crazy about, at one time or another, but great performance trumps everything.”
保证自己在工作上表现出色。赫特说：“应该密切关注自己的绩效，”甚至要寻求同事的诚实反馈，因为“没有人可以否定成功的事实。我们都曾有过与自己不太喜欢的人共事的经历，但出色的表现总能胜过一切。”

Try to match your boss’s speaking style. Hurt has worked with clients who rubbed each other the wrong way because of “too big a difference in style,” she says. “If your boss is very soft-spoken and you’re much more voluble and high-energy, or vice versa, try altering the way you talk.” Sometimes, she says, this one simple step can help a lot.
尝试跟老板的说话方式保持一致。赫特的客户便曾因为“说话方式差异太大”而产生摩擦，彼此反感。她说：“如果你的老板说话温和，而你却非常健谈且活力十足，或者相反，那你就应该尽量改变自己说话的方式。”她认为，有时候这样一个简单的措施就能发挥巨大的作用。

Ask for pointers from someone your boss does seem to like. Since you mention that your boss seems partial to other people on your team, why not see if there’s a specific reason? Hurt recently coached a manager who wasn’t getting along with the finance director at her company, to whom she reported. “So she talked with a peer about it, and that person described how she communicated with the boss, how often, and in what way, and that fixed the problem,” Hurt says, adding that her client learned she had to make just a few small changes: “Sometimes fixing something very basic can work surprisingly well”—once you know exactly what it is.
向老板喜欢的人寻求指点。既然你提到自己的老板对其他团队成员有所偏爱，为什么不查找一下具体原因？赫特近期指导的一位管理者与自己的上司（公司的财务总监）相处不太融洽。赫特说：“于是，她与一位同事讨论了这个问题。对方描述了她如何与上司沟通，以及沟通的频率和方式。后来，这次谈话帮她解决了问题。”赫特补充道，她的客户知道，自己必须做出一点小小的改变：“有时候，在最基本的地方做出改变，会带来令人意想不到的效果”——前提是你知道自己具体需要改变的地方。

One more thought: Before you go off in search of a new boss, give this one some time. Hurt says she once worked for a manager “who I didn’t think liked me,” she says. “But I hung in there and kept trying.” By the time she left to start her own firm, she recalls, “he said, ‘You know, you’ve kind of grown on me.’” Faint praise, but better than none.
提醒一下：在着手寻找新老板之前，给现任老板一点时间。赫特说，她曾经的上司，在她看来也不喜欢自己。她说：“但我一直坚持，并不断努力。”后来，她离开了那里，创建了自己的公司。她回忆起当时的情景：“他说：‘你知道吗，你让我越来越喜欢你了。’”虽非真心的赞美，但聊胜于无。

Talkback: Have you ever worked for someone you thought disliked you? What, if anything, did you do about it? Leave a comment below.
反馈：你是否曾遇到过不喜欢自己的上司？如果有，你采取了什么样的措施？欢迎评论。