6个会削弱自己魅力的词语 你中枪了吗

These are classic weapons wielded in relationships that show up in the form of "You always do XYZ" or "You never do ABC." Really? Every single time? Think hard about it--do the behaviors that bother you the most truly happen without fail?
这两个是在人际关系中使用的典型武器。“你总是做XYZ”或者“你从来不做ABC。”对么？每次都是？好好想一想—这些行为是不是能惹恼你？

"Never" can also be unduly limiting. Even if you think something will never ever happen, voicing your negativity can discourage others from contributing ideas that could solve a problem.
“从不”也可以是过分限制。哪怕你认为某件事不可能发生，说出你的消极看法会让别人打消贡献出能够解决问题的想法。

Should
应该

Everyone has things they could be doing differently but "shoulding on yourself" isn't going to propel you to action. Not only will a self-inflicted guilt trip lead to balking, dwelling on your shortcomings can quickly spiral out of control and result in negative and counter-productive self-talk.
每个人做的事都可能会有另一种方法来做。但是“你应该”这句话无法促使你行动。不仅仅自我施加的罪恶感会成为阻碍，细想自己的缺点也很快会让你失控，产生消极和事与愿违的自言自语。

"'I should be [doing something more] leads to 'Man, I lack discipline' which leads to 'What's wrong with me?' which leads to 'Maybe I don't have what it takes ... why do I even bother ... I should just quit now ...'" says psychologist and master violinist Dr. Noa Kageyama. "And pretty soon we're sitting on the couch watching reruns of The Office and eating a six-pack of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches."
“我本应该（做更多的事）"的想法会产生"伙计，我缺乏自律"，然后就是“我怎么了？”，之后是“也许我没有所需的品质……为什么我要做呢……我应该现在就放弃……”心理学家兼小提琴大师景山诺亚说。“很快我们就会坐在沙发上，看着电影《办公室》重播，吃掉六包低脂冰淇淋三明治。

Instead of "should" Kageyama advises using a phrase that's more specific and solution-focused. For example, you could tell yourself that next time you'll spend five minutes on the behavior you've been avoiding before doing anything else. Or, "This afternoon I will spend 20 minutes [searching online] for ideas that might make [this activity] more interesting and challenging in a motivating way," he suggests.
比起用“应该”一词，景山建议用更明确、更聚焦解决方案的词组来替代。比如，你下次可以告诉自己，在做任何事之前，你会花5分钟在需要避免的行为上。或者，“今天下午，我会花20分钟（上网搜索）能让（活动）更有趣更具有挑战性的想法。”他建议说。