又萌又皮的奶奶 请给我来一打

My husband Bill's Grandma Z was quite a character.
我丈夫的奶奶Z是一个很有个性的奶奶。
Over the years
多年来
we grew very close
我们十分亲近
and I was actually with her when she died.
她去世的时候，我就在她的病榻前
In Grandma Z's later years
Z奶奶最后的几年里
she lived in a nursing home.
她住在一个养老院
Her eyesight was almost gone
她的视力几乎已经完全消退
and she spent most of her day in a wheelchair.
终日坐在轮椅里
For the most part,
但大多数时候
her mind was sharp
她的神志都很清明
until the end of her life
直到生命的终结
at age 101.
享年101高寿
We lived out of state for several years
我们在外地住了好几年
and didn't see her all that often.
并不能经常看到她
However,
可是
when we did,
每次见面
she always brought a smile to my face.
她总会让我脸上出现开心的笑容
Grandma had her way of saying things
她有自己独特的说话方式
that would crack me up.
常让我捧腹大笑
On one of our visits,
一次我们去拜访她的时候
she leaned forward in her chair
她从椅子里倾身过来
and said,
对我说
"Kay, let me feel your legs."
Kay,让我摸摸你的腿
Knowing Grandma
我素来知道奶奶的心性
I shouldn't have been surprised,
本不应该惊讶
but I was.
但那次我却很惊讶
"Are you kidding?
你是在捉弄我吗
What for and why?"
你想做什么？为什么要摸我的腿？
was all I could think to say.
这是我唯一能想到说的话
Grandma didn't explain,
奶奶没有解释
but insisted,
但却坚持这样做
so I let her feel my legs.
于是我让她摸了我的腿
After giving each leg a few squeezes
她在我两条腿上都捏了几下
she sat back in her wheelchair.
然后坐回了轮椅
In a very matter of fact way
摆出一副实事求是的模样
she announced,
她宣告说
"Kay, you're getting flabby!
Kay，你长胖了
You know,
你知道
I don't tell everybody this."
我并不是对每个人都会这么说的
I didn't know quite what to think.
我当时脑中一片茫然
Should I be happy
我应该高兴吗
she had selected, just me,
她选择了我，仅仅我一个人
to tell this to?
来说这番话
If that wasn't bad enough
如果你觉得这还不算太糟
Grandma went on.
奶奶还有话要说
Now she wanted to know how much I weighed.
接着她又问我的体重
I thought I'd just tease with her
我想我只用和她打趣就行了
so I joked that
于是便开玩笑说
I wasn't about to answer that question.
我不打算回答这个问题
Grandma was quiet for a moment.
奶奶沉默了一会儿
Then trying to catch me off guard
接着却想趁其不备
she continued,
于是又说到
"I weigh 111 right now.
我现在有111磅重了
Where do you come in around that number?"
你跟我的体重差了多少
I laughed
我大笑
and let her know
告诉她
I knew she was trying to trick me
我知道她在试图捉弄我
into telling her my weight
让我交代自己的体重
and it wasn't going to work!
这对我没用
I weighed about 103 at the time.
那时我只有103磅重
Certainly not a heavy duty!
一点也不胖
Maybe
或许
I should have just ignored Grandma's "flabby" comment,
我应该直接忽略奶奶说我“长胖”了
but I didn't.
但我却没有
I decided to join a fitness club
我决定加入一个瘦身俱乐部
after we returned home.
一回家就这么干
I went faithfully
我满怀虔诚的去了
and had a fun time exercising with the girls.
抓紧一切时间和俱乐部里的女孩们一起锻炼
Plus,
不仅如此
I made some life long friends in the process.
在此过程中，我还结交了一些终身的朋友
The next summer
第二年夏天
we were back at the nursing home
我们又来到养老院
visiting Grandma.
来拜访奶奶
After giving her a hug
我拥抱了她
I announced,
并且宣布
"Hey Grandma
嘿奶奶
I joined a fitness club!
我参加了一个健身俱乐部
Don't you want to feel my legs?"
你想不想摸摸我腿上的肉
With a tone,
拿腔拿调的
only Grandma would use she gasped,
这是奶奶专有的调侃人的腔调
"Heaven's no,
她说，“老天，我不想那么做
”why would I?"
为什么我要做这种事
I laughed
我大笑
and continued,
又说
"Well,
好吧
last time we were here
上次我们来这儿的时候
you wanted to feel my legs
你想要摸我的腿
and you actually said,
你还对我说
"Kay, you're getting flabby!"
Kay，你长胖了
after feeling them.
你摸到了我腿上的肉
I'll never forget Grandma's response.
我永远不会忘记奶奶对我的回答
In a tone of disbelief,
她嗤之以鼻
she scoffed ,
哂笑说
"Flabby, flabby??
长胖？长胖？
That word is not even in my vocabulary!"
我的字典里根本没有这个词！