育儿的艺术：要抓住也要放手

RENEE MONTAGNE, HOST: Today from StoryCorps we'll check back with a family we first heard from five years ago when Joshua Littman interviewed his mother Sarah. Joshua has a disorder on the autism spectrum, Asperger's syndrome. Kids with Asperger's can miss social cues and often have obsessions. Joshua's obsession was animals.

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JOSHUA LITTMAN: From a scale of one to ten, do you think your life would be different without animals?

SARAH LITTMAN: I think it would be an eight. I could do without things like cockroaches and snakes.

LITTMAN: Well, I'm OK with snakes as long as they're not venomous. But cockroaches are just the insect we love to hate.

LITTMAN: Yeah, that really is.

LITTMAN: Did I turn out to be the son you wanted when I was born? Like, did I meet your expectations?

LITTMAN: You've exceeded my expectations, Sweetie. And I'm so lucky to have you as my son.

MONTAGNE: When the Littmans recorded that conversation Joshua was a seventh grader having a tough time socially. He is now 18 and in his first semester at college. Joshua is struggling again and his mother brought him back to StoryCorps in New York. She wanted to talk about what his time away has meant for both of them.

LITTMAN: I thought I was going to cry the whole way back from college, but I managed to make it until I got home. And then I walked upstairs and I saw your door shut and I just lost it.

LITTMAN: Well, at least you had the dogs.

LITTMAN: Well, the dogs aren't my kids, you know.

LITTMAN: But they snuggle with you and...

LITTMAN: They do, but it's not quite the same. Does it bother you to think of home?

LITTMAN: I miss it.

LITTMAN: Yeah.

LITTMAN: I miss the dogs and everything.

LITTMAN: You miss the dogs?

LITTMAN: And you, and yeah. What, wouldn't you miss the dogs?

LITTMAN: I'd miss the dogs, but I think for even political sake, I might say I miss you mother, first.

LITTMAN: So how was it when you went to college?

LITTMAN: I think I was a lot more excited about leaving home than you were. I did have some rocky times where I was homesick, but I made some really good friends in college, and that's, I guess that's why I want you to get out of your room. Is it just you've been feeling overwhelmed a bit?

LITTMAN: Yeah.

LITTMAN: So that's OK, maybe when you get your feet under the desk a little more as they say.

LITTMAN: Yeah, well, I have no idea why am I in college. 'Cause I don't know why I'm there.

LITTMAN: Well, remember how a few years ago you hated sushi?

LITTMAN: Um-hum.

LITTMAN: And now, like, all you ever want to do is eat sushi?

LITTMAN: Mmm.

LITTMAN: Sometimes you have this resistance to trying things, and then when you try them, you end up really liking them. And really, I just want you to do more of that when you're at college. Just like take that chance.

LITTMAN: So how would you react if, like, I failed?

LITTMAN: Failed your classes? Or...

LITTMAN: Failed my classes, failed college?

LITTMAN: Well, if you came to me first and said, look I'm having a really tough time, that's one thing. But if you just sort of announce to me that you failed, then I'd be upset. Because I know how much potential you have. Is there anything you wanted tell me?

LITTMAN: What do you mean?

LITTMAN: Or was that a hypothetical question?

LITTMAN: That was like a hypothetical question, yeah.

LITTMAN: OK, all right.

LITTMAN: So, do you think I'll move out of the house when I'm done with college?

LITTMAN: What do you think?

LITTMAN: Well, I don't know, maybe I'll move to Denmark or something.

LITTMAN: Well, that's where you were telling me that's where people are the happiest, right?

LITTMAN: Yeah.

LITTMAN: Hopefully you won't move so far away that it's really hard for me to come to visit you. You know, I'm really so happy to have you home. I miss you a lot when you're not there.

LITTMAN: Yeah. I miss you as well, and as well, as the dogs and everything.

LITTMAN: Yeah. Make sure you do write to me, OK, because I love you and I worry about you. Make your old mom's life a little easier. Deal?

LITTMAN: Um-hum.

LITTMAN: All right.

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MONTAGNE: Sarah Littman with her son Joshua at StoryCorps in New York. See an animated version of the Littman's first interview at NPR.org.

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