如何与自恋的老板共处？

Craig Malkin: If you’re dealing with a boss who is just sort of arrogant and can be aloof and difficult to deal with, there are two approaches that are very effective. One is that any time they show any capacity for caring or concern, say, for example, they give you some encouragement. You really want to jump on that. Ignore the advice about stroking your boss’s ego for what they’ve done. That actually, according to research, makes them worse. It makes them more destructive. But if you focus your intentions on those moments to say to your boss something like, "I really appreciated the encouragement you gave me yesterday. It helped me get to the finish line." That kind of feedback, that is a way of connecting with your boss and really helping them warm up to you a little bit and can actually reduce their narcissistic tendencies.

克雷格.马尔金：如果你面对的是一个傲慢的老板，而且很冷漠，很难处理，那么有两种方法是非常有效的。其中一个办法是当你的老板表现出在乎你或者关心的能力时，比如他们会给你一些鼓励，而事实上你确实想骂他一顿。不过这个时候最好不要因为老板自负的行为而与他顶嘴。事实上，根据研究，这样可能让结果更为糟糕，让事情变得更坏。但如果你换一种方式，当再次遇到此类情况时，你可以这样说“我真的很感激你昨天给我的鼓励，使我能够很好的完成工作”，这种反馈是一种与你老板沟通的良好方式，使你自己看起来不那么冷冰冰，实际上也可以在一定程度上减少他们的自恋倾向。”

The other thing to keep in mind is if you are looking for a promotion. If you are approaching a boss who’s narcissistic, this isn’t going to be like the average boss who’s maybe thinking about the whole system or organization, so you want to make sure you frame whatever plan you’re bringing to them, you want to make sure that you are appealing to what’s in it for them? That’s the first thing you want to make sure that you’re answering as a question. You want to be able to say, "Look. If I do this, I know you’ve been looking for growth in the company, I can bring that to you. If you put me in this position, I can bring that to the table for you. So I think it’d make sense to give me this opportunity."

另一件要记住的事情是，如果你想要升职。而你的老板是一位自恋者，这样的老板不会像大多数老板一样会有一个整体的系统或架构考虑。所以你要确保你拿给他看的计划框架有什么地方能够吸引他。这是你必须要做的，而且是首要的事情，把这个当做一个问题，你自己一定要回答好这个问题。“看，我知道你一直在寻求公司的发展，如果我这样做，我可以带来更大的发展。如果你把我放在这个领导位置，我可以把效益直接带到纸面上来给你看。所以我认为给我这个机会是合理的。