如何在假期巧答七大姑八大姨们令人尴尬的问题(1)

The holiday season is a favorite for many; parties with family, friends, and work colleagues are often a staple. Socializing with others around you can be fun, but by the same token, it can also be a daunting prospect, especially because there is always the chance that you’ll be asked to answer awkward questions during these gatherings, regardless of your companion’s intentions.

假期可能是很多人的最爱；和家人、朋友、同事聚会常常是标配。和身边的人交往可能会充满乐趣，但与此同时，假期也可能会让人感到畏惧，因为不管提问的人目的是什么，你总是会被问到感觉尴尬的问题。

Some awkward questions you might be asked during the holidays are:

假期你可能会被问到的一些尴尬问题如下：

How’s the job search coming?

工作找得怎么样了？

So when are you having kids?

什么时候要孩子啊？

Why don’t you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner yet?

为什么还没有男/女朋友啊？

When’s the wedding?

什么时候办婚礼啊？

Still working at the same place?

还没跳槽？

… and on and on. We’ve all been in these awkward situations before, having to answer probing questions from strangers. Try to remember that most people are just making conversation, they don’t necessarily mean to be rude or nosy.

……诸如此类。 我们都反复经历过这类尴尬的境遇，不得不回答陌生人这些刨根问底的打探。别忘了，大多数人不过是无话找话、聊聊罢了，并非有意冒犯或八卦。

Although I am by no means an expert in the art of deftly maneuvering your way out of an awkward question, I have developed a few tried and true techniques that have allowed me to escape a potentially awkward situation unscathed during the holiday season.

虽然我并不是这方面的专家，不能巧妙自如地把你从尴尬的境地中解救出来，但是我积累了几招行之有效的办法，帮我自己摆脱了节假日期间可能遇到的尴尬处境，毫发无伤。

Here are four tips to answer awkward questions this holiday season:

下面是假期回答尴尬问题的四个小技巧：

Tip 1: Plan Your Answers (Or the Gist of What You Want To Say) Beforehand

技巧1：提前想好你的答案（或者要点）

I’ve found that if you have a general idea of who you might encounter or the questions some people may ask you, it’s a good idea to anticipate potentially awkward questions by deciding how you may want to answer some of the questions they may ask you, and maybe even practice a bit on our own prior to the event if necessary. Think of ways you might be comfortable answering questions that might be potentially awkward, and formulate some basic answers in your head prior to the event.

我发现，如果大致能想到你会遇见谁，以及他们可能会问你什么问题，那么提前想好你怎么回答这些问题是个不错的方法，如果有必要的话，甚至可以提前演练一下。提前想好一些基本的答案，想想怎么回答会让你觉得不那么别扭。

My family and I recently attended a holiday event where I encountered a few potentially awkward questions about my current work situation and job search. However, because I knew several individuals who would most likely be attending the event, I was able to take some time to think about how I wanted to answer the questions they could ask me. This doesn’t mean that I spent the days leading up to the party obsessively memorizing answers and recited the answers to these individuals’ questions like a robot; rather, I simply decided what I was comfortable telling these individuals, and the basic structure of some answers to potential questions.

最近我和家人参加一个假期聚会时就遇到了几个可能让人尴尬的问题，是关于我目前的工作状况和求职情况。不过，因为我认识那几个最有可能参加这个活动的人，于是就提前花了些时间，想了想怎么回答他们可能会问我的问题。不是说我事前花上好几天时间来专门记答案，然后像机器人一样把答案背给那些问我问题的人；其实我只是想清楚了对于可能的问题，什么样的回答内容和基本上如何回答自己才觉得不尴尬。

You have no way of anticipating exactly what sorts of questions you may be asked or how they may be worded, so I found it most effective to prepare by having several stories, answers, or even questions for your companion, in order to make sure the conversation runs smoothly, just as you would practice for a job interview or an elevator pitch during a networking event.

你没法预测别人到底会问什么、怎么问，所以我发现提前准备好不同版本的故事、答案甚至问题效果是最好的，以确保交谈顺利进行，就像你要为工作面试或电梯推销做准备一样。

Tip 2: Ask Questions and Listen

技巧2：问问题并认真聆听

I have found that one of the most effective ways to avoid uncomfortable questions within communication is to ask questions of whoever you are speaking with. It gives you a chance to listen to others, and shift the attention away from yourself, especially if that makes you uncomfortable. Turning the tables and asking questions of others is also a great way to learn more about the people around you, and you never know what you may learn, not just about the people around you, but also about the world around you.

我发现，避免谈话中被问到让人不舒服问题的最有效的方法之一就是你先问问题。这会给你机会听别人说话，把别人的注意力从你身上转移出去，尤其是那些注意力会让你感到不舒服的时候。把问题抛给别人是一个向周围的人学习的很棒的方法，你永远不会提前知道你会学到什么，你了解的不只是你周围的人，还有你周围的世界。

The conversations that I had with several individuals during these holiday gatherings allowed me to learn things about these individuals that I had never known previously. Moreover, I was pleasantly surprised and grateful to have offers from several of those individuals to connect me with others who could potentially help me by the end of the night.

假期聚会里我和几个人的聊天过程中，我了解了关于这几个人的我以前从不知道的事情。而且我既惊喜又感激他们给我介绍了那晚聚会结束后可以为我提供潜在帮助的人。

You never know what you may learn or gain by asking questions and listening to those around you; you may be pleasantly surprised, just as I was.

你永远不会知道你会通过问身边的人问题，认真聆听他们的回答，从而学到什么；或许你会像我一样感到很惊喜。

Tip 3: Determine When You’re Going to Leave The Gathering Beforehand

技巧3：聚会之前想好什么时候离席

Although this isn’t necessarily strictly a holiday party thing, I’ve found that something that helps me, especially if you find holiday gatherings overwhelming or intimidating, is to determine when you’re going to leave the party before you even arrive at the gathering. This will give you a definite timeframe, and something to look forward to should the party get too overwhelming for you.

尽管这并不是参加一个假期聚会一定要做的事，但如果你发现假期聚会铺天盖地，令你生畏时，在参加聚会前就想好什么时候走确实有所帮助。这会为你提供一个时间期限，在实在疲于应付各种聚会时，让你有所期待。

Moreover, having a definite time frame will allow you to keep the conversations short and sweet; this doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to avoid awkward questions, but it does give you the opportunity, should you choose to keep the conversations short, to potentially avoid the in-depth conversations that could potentially lead to awkward questions.

而且，有了明确的时间期限后，会让你和别人的交谈短暂但很美好；这并不能保证别人不会问你尴尬的问题，但这确实给了你机会，如果你选择进行简短的交谈，就潜在地避免了深入的交谈，避开了别人问你尴尬问题的机会。

Prior to these events, my family decided how long we were going to be there, largely because we had a pet whom we obviously couldn’t leave outside for an extended period of time. This allowed me to have shorter conversations with fellow party-goers and learn more about them.

在参加聚会之前，我和家人会想好什么时候离开，主要是因为我家有个宠物，显然我们不能在外面呆太久。这使得我和聚会上的同伴们保持简短的谈话，但却能更多地了解他们。

Tip 4: Be Polite and Be Funny

技巧4：要有礼貌且风趣幽默

I’ve found that one of the best and most effective ways to deflect questions is to be polite. This should go without saying, but being kind will get you somewhere. When I have come across awkward questions, I’ve often deflected the question by politely declining to answer before deftly shifting the attention away from myself as deftly as possible. Rather than pushing, I’ve found that if you express your discomfort politely or declining to answer the question, individuals will respect your boundaries and apologize for making you uncomfortable.

我发现，最有效且最好的解决问题的方法之一就是要有礼貌。这本来不言而喻，但有礼貌对你大有裨益。每当我遇到尴尬的问题时，我通常先尽可能巧妙地把他们的注意力从我身上移走，然后再婉言谢绝回答他们的问题。而不是直接拒绝，因为我发现如果你表现得不礼貌或拒绝回答这个问题，别人会尊重你的做法，并且会为使你感到不舒服而向你道歉。

Humor also works wonders as well; I’ve found that if you can make someone chuckle or laugh, you are more than halfway there to easing the tension and awkwardness in the room.

保持幽默也会让你收到意想不到的效果；我发现如果你能让别人咯咯笑或者大笑，你就会事半功倍地缓解屋子里紧张和尴尬的气氛。

The holidays can be stressful enough without the pressure of awkward questions, but as much as we would like to avoid them, they can, and often do, happen. However, it is also possible to answer them graciously and enjoy the holiday season in the process.

假期里的压力本来就够大了，更别提再加上这些让人尴尬的问题，但事实上，通常我们有多想避开这些问题，这些问题就有多大可能会出现。但是我们也可以优雅地回答这些问题，享受假期。

Have you had any awkward encounters yet this holiday season? How did you maneuver your way out of them?

这个假期中你遇到让你感到尴尬的问题了吗？你是怎么解救自己的呢？