老友记第八季mp3和剧本下载807:The One With The Stain

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The One With The Stain

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]

Monica: Hey.

Chandler: Hey.

(Monica notices something.)

Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!

Chandler: Y’know uh, I didn’t actually do this.

Monica: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?

Chandler: No, it wasn’t you.

Monica: Well then who?

Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!

Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then…

Chandler: Uh honey, I know you don’t like to relinquish control…

Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!

Chandler: Look, she’s really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.

Monica: Did she really say that?

Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember ‘cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?

Monica: Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.

Chandler: What’s the matter?

Monica: Well, usually when I’m this anxious, I clean!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someone’s cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]

Phoebe: (looking around) Who’s cell phone is that? It’s just so annoying; everywhere you go.

Ross: I think it’s coming from your bag.

Phoebe: (checks) I never get calls!! (Answers the phone) Hello?

Eric: Hi, it’s Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursula’s fiancee.

Phoebe: Oh my God Eric hi! Wait, how’d you get this number?

Eric: Oh, I have a friend who’s a cop and he got it for me.

Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violation—and wonderful surprise.

Eric: Uh listen, I just—I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.

Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!

Rachel: Wow! What did he do?

Phoebe: Shhh! I’m talking.

Eric: Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who…eats lunch.

Phoebe: Are you asking me out? ‘Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.

Eric: Yeah uh…okay. I’m-I’m sorry. Bye.

Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so you’d think I was a good person. Fight for me.

Eric: Uhh, I won’t take no for an answer.

Phoebe: Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.

Eric: Great! But wh-wh—How do you know where I live?

Phoebe: I’ve got friends too. Okay, bye.

Eric: Bye.

(She hangs up.)

Phoebe: Oh my God! I’m going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I can’t make lunch. (Exits.)

Ross: So apparently I’m available for lunch.

Rachel: I can’t. I’m busy. I’m apartment hunting.

Ross: You’re moving?

Rachel: Yeah, I can’t live with Joey once the baby comes. I don’t want my child’s first words to be, (in a baby’s voice) "How you doin’?"

Ross: So does-does Joey know you’re moving?

Rachel: Well, I haven’t discussed it with him yet, but I know he’s gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.

Ross: That’s not really porn.

Rachel: N