喜欢与另一半吵嘴的看过来

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Channel those inevitable couples spats into constructive, conflict-resolution sessions.

You Will NeedA fair fight
A time-out
A schedule
Communication skills
"I" or "We" statements
Positive affirmation
Listening skills
Follow up (optional)

Step 1: Take a time out（生气的时候，都先冷静一下）
If you feel yourself getting angry, gauge your emotion level on a scale from one to 10. Take a time-out if you or your spouse feels your emotions running too high.

Step 2: Have a schedule（腾出一定的时间来讨论争执的问题）
Schedule a time to discuss the conflict, so you can be civil. Avoid bringing up hot-button topics while one or both of you are running out the door.

Pick your battles wisely. The things you argue about should be things that really matter – try not to sweat the small stuff.

Step 3: Communicate（好好交流）
When the scheduled time arrives, start by communicating your desired outcome, as well as your feelings and needs. Invite your spouse to brainstorm ways to fix the problem. Cooperating to find solutions will avoid urges to place blame and help satisfy a mutual goal.

Follow up at a later date on any resolutions made to avoid broken agreements.

Step 4: Use "I" or "We" statements（不要说“你”怎么怎么，说“我”“我们”）
Use I" or “We” statements and avoid using “You” messages. “We need to find a way to save more money,” is more positive and constructive than saying, “You spend too much money.”

Step 5: Affirm（承认对方正确的观点）
Acknowledge something positive about your spouse before segueing to the issue. Knowing they are appreciated may help balance any perceived criticism.

Step 6: Listen（仔细聆听）
Listen to your spouse and make sure they feel heard. Acknowledge their point of view and validate their position before stating your own.

Step 7: Fight fair（不要大吵大闹，就事论事）
Fight fair. Stick to the argument at hand, and don’t make generalizations or bring up past conflicts. Avoid yelling, dominating the discussion, and unconstructive criticism and insults.

A University of Michigan study found that earlier death is twice as likely in couples who suppress anger when unfairly attacked.