如何说些鼓励和肯定的话

Words are powerful and influence all aspects of our lives. Those specially chosen for encouragement and affirmation can elevate everyone’s spirits, including your own.
言语很有影响力，能够影响生活的方方面面。这些用来鼓励和肯定的话能令大家振作起来，包括你自己。

Step 1: Affirm the present
Speak encouragements and affirmations in the present tense, rather than the future. Positively hoping for something yet to come denies the good you experience now.
第一步:肯定现在
说鼓励和肯定的话时要用现在时而不要用将来时。热切期盼将来的事会使人觉得现在的境况不佳。

Tip:A Penn State study discovered we have many more negative words in our vocabulary than ones for positively identified emotions.
小贴士：宾夕法尼亚州立大学的研究发现比起态度积极的人，我们使用的话语中有更多消极的词。

Step 2: Reconsider problems as opportunities
Redefine problems as “challenges,” or “opportunities.” The attitude with which you approach conflict can change outcomes. Learn from mistakes instead of avoiding or regretting them.
第二步:重新审视问题将它看做机遇
重新审视问题将它看做“挑战”或“机遇”。你对待问题的态度会改变结果。从错误中学习而不是去避免或悔恨错误。

Step 3: Choose phrases with intent
Give phrases new intent by refusing to use “I can’t,” and saying instead, “I will.” Replace the word “mistakes” with the phrase “life lessons” to combat past feelings of guilt and shame.
第三步:有意挑选词语
有意挑选词语，不使用“我不能”这样的短语，而用“我能”。不用“错误”这个词而用“生活的教训”来抵制过去情感中的内疚和遗憾。

Step 4: Use honey, not vinegar
Convert criticisms into encouragements. Eliminate absolutes like “always” and “never” from your vocabulary when describing unacceptable behavior. Recognize that no one is all bad or all good all the time.
第四步:使用积极的词而不用批评的话
将批评转换成鼓励。在描述无法接受的行为时，不要使用绝对性的字眼，比如“总是”和“从不”。要意识到没人总是对的或错的。

Step 5: Believe and support
Compliment someone to build their self-esteem, or just to show genuine appreciation of them. Believe what you are saying and convey your absolute support for their efforts.
第五步:相信并支持
赞美他人来树立他们的自尊，或只是对他们作出积极的评价。相信你所说的，并将你的支持转化成他们的进步。

Tip：Be careful: overdone praise, repeated frequently, may lose its value if it is a function of practiced and empty manners rather than a genuine, heartfelt affirmation.
小贴士：要注意：如果只是泛泛而无实质意义的过分地赞扬，而不是发自内心的肯定，就会使赞扬失去意义。

Step 6: Repeat to believe
Express short, specific affirmations, such as “I am a good person,” passionately and repeatedly, to imprint them on your subconscious. You must feel with every affirmation that your visualized reality has been willed into existence. You can be a positive person and make the people around you positive, too.
第六步:反复重复来使自己坚信
用简短而又特别的肯定，比如“我是个优秀的人”，要热情地反复地使用，从而将它植根到你的潜意识中。对每个肯定你都会感到你预见的现实一定会成真。你可以做一个积极的人也可以使你周围的人变得积极。