新托福，SAT作文巨讲堂(2)

　　咱们上回书说到关系网的重要性，这回书就来谈谈如何为自己的成功来做准备。要说成功，那第一个，当之无愧的就是“唐骏”。想当年一本畅销书风靡大江南本，书上几个大字《我的复制，可以成功》远远望去，铿锵有力，接下来，远处看，成功学的大旗迎风飘扬，上面书写着很多暂时还没倒霉的人的名字，“卡耐基”，“陈安之”，“郎燕侠”，“高安明”，“董思阳”。请注意，无老师这里用到的是“暂时”…………
　　无老师优秀范例：Prepare for success. Consider registering a web site in your name. You can then create a professional-sounding email address that will encourage people to visit your web site. Get a professional photograph taken. This is for your web site, your advertising, or anything else that you will be doing to promote your image as a serious professional. Order your own business cards in your name with your web site and business number. If you don’t want your cell phone ringing with business calls at work, consider a Skype In number, which will cost you just $60 a year。
　　无老师中文释义：做好成功的准备 考虑以你的名字注册一家网站。这样，你就能创建一个给人印象深刻的职业电子邮件地址，并能鼓励人们访问你的网址。拍一张职业的照片。这将为你的网址，你的 广告，或任何其它你所能做的提升自己职业形象的事情做准备。定制印有你的姓名、网址和公司电话号码的自己的名片。如果你不想让手机在上班的时候收到业务电话，就考虑使用Skype In号码，每年只需花你60美元。
　　无老师平庸示例：
同样是这样一段，想想我们自己会怎么写？我们经常的书写内容是：Prepare for success. You should register a website by your name.Then you can build a very impressive and professional e-mail. You can encourage other people to look at your website. Take a photo. This will prepare for your web, and advertisement, and anything can raise your professional image. You may order the name card with your name, website and telephone number on it. If you do not want to receive the telephone from other companys, you can use the skype in’s number, and it is 60 dollar/year.
　　无老师分析：
我们在写文章的时候，往往喜欢写复杂句，因此You should这样的开头往往必不可少，但是如果像优秀范例一样，直接用祈使句Consider作为开头，倒是会显得短促有力。除此之外，“用…的名字”，考友们大多喜欢用with这个介词，但是实际上，用“in”更为准确一点。
　　接下来这句话没有再用register，而是换用了create，显示出用词的多样性，不过其实用build问题也不大。接下来优秀范文用that进行连接，显示出前后两者的逻辑性，这是很多小清新们所欠缺的，一定要注意！后面的visit与look at的区别想必是显而易见的，这里look实在是不够书面化，不过如果能把visit换为take a journey of的话，应该更为生动！
　　后面一句话用到的This is for虽然很简单，但是this指代前一句话，表示出两者之间的逻辑关系，然后一个for表示原因，更是把前后两句话紧密连接起来，很多小盆友们一定要多体会啊！紧跟着一个promote与raise的差别就更大了，raise只表示泛泛的提升，火箭也可以，向上扔东西也可以，但是promote极为准确的表现出“促进”这层含义，因此显然promote会把你的作文推高一个层次，有多高呢？3,4层楼那么高吧^_^
　　最后一句用到的ringing with business calls at work，极为准确的用到了ring的ing形式，而且紧跟着cell phone表示是cell phone在作响，简单有力。比起劣质范例的receive the telephone from other companys显然更为形象化，画面感也更强。
　　最后再来看一遍优秀范例，卓越源于模仿！^_^
　　无老师优秀范例：Prepare for success. Consider registering a web site in your name. You can then create a professional-sounding email address that will encourage people to visit your web site. Get a professional photograph taken. This is for your web site, your advertising, or anything else that you will be doing to promote your image as a serious professional. Order your own business cards in your name with your web site and business number. If you don’t want your cell phone ringing with business calls at work, consider a Skype In number, which will cost you just $60 a year。