名师点评网友BEC初级作文(1)

　　
网友作文四：
　　From: office Manager
　　To: all staff
　　Subject: upgarde of computer system
　　As our computer system need to be upgraded, we have arranged the contarctors to upgrade the them [1]on Wedesday. On that day all computers should be shutted down for a full day, so you need arrange some alternative work for that day.

名师修改意见：　　
[1]第一: 不要重复使用前面已经用过的词;第二：指代错误，前面说的system 是单数，怎么到这里变成了them? 合成一句：as we have arranged the contractor to upgrade our computer system.