梦想集结号：你在追逐谁的目标？

Do you have a big goal for the next year – or perhaps a three-year or five-year plan? You might have a whole bunch of goals, even if you don't call them that – perhaps ranging through things like:
新的一年即将来临，你有什么伟大的计划没？或是“三年飞跃”、“五年计划”之类的规划？你可能有着一大箩筐的目标等着实现，虽然你压根儿没有把它们当回事儿。

Lose weight 减肥
Make lots of money 赚钱
Get a promotion 升职
study for a new qualification 进修

Stop reading for a moment, and think about some of the goals that are currently lodged in your mind – they might be things you've told yourself you "should" do, but you've not made much progress on them. You may want to write them down.
停！想一想，你现在脑子里忽闪而过的目标有哪些？这些目标也许你到目前为止还没什么进展可言，但你始终这样告戒自己：这些都是我“应该”要去实现的目标。不妨把它们写下来看看吧。

Whose goals are these?
这些目标究竟是谁的呀？

Perhaps that seems like a stupid question: obviously, they're your goals ... aren't they?
这么问也许听上去很可笑是吧？你的目标很明显是“你的”嘛！果真如此吗？

Unfortunately, there's a fair chance that some of "your" goals aren't really yours at all. They might belong to your parents, your friends, or even your society as a whole.
很遗憾地告诉你，事实很可能是这样的：“你的”有些雄心壮志并非出自你本人的真实意愿。它们或是来自你的父母、亲朋好友，或是源于社会大环境对你的影响。

Here's how other people's goals can become yours – and why you want to take control again.
以下就将告诉你别人的“雄心壮志”何以摇身一变成了你自己的，而你又为何心甘情愿地“被雄心壮志”。

1: Your Parents' (or Family's) Goals
目标来源之一：你的父母或家庭

Naturally enough, parents often have big hopes and dreams for their kids. They may have struggled through hardship and made sacrifices in order to support their children – and they might have ideas about what constitutes a "good" career or a valuable life.
父母通常总是望子成龙、望女成凤的，这也不难理解。为了支持自己的孩子上进，父母往往不辞辛苦，甚至不惜作出牺牲，只求孩子有出息。在父母的头脑中，也许早已为孩子勾勒出了一幅事业成功、生活美满的理想蓝图。

Parents (or other relatives) may impose goals by:
父母（或其他亲戚）可能通过以下这些方式把“人生目标”强加给孩子：

Insisting that a particular activity isn't worth pursuing because "there's no money in it" – perhaps art, writing or music
坚持认为诸如艺术、写作、音乐之类的职业是不值得作为人生目标去追求的，因为这类职业往往毫无“钱”途可言。

Focusing on certain qualifications and career paths – perhaps wanting their children to become doctors or lawyers
锁定一些特定的具有专业发展的职业推荐给自己的孩子——例如，父母会希望孩子将来成为一名医生或律师。

Encouraging a particular type of lifestyle by criticizing behavior that they consider "wrong"
通过鄙视或批评一些他们认为“错误”的行为，进而推崇另一种他们认可的生活方式。

Talking about the success of certain family members in terms of career, wealth, marriage, etc...
大力赞扬家族成员中那些在事业、财富、婚姻等方面卓有成就的人。

How to Change: Spend some time digging deep into your own goals. What do you really want for yourself? If you're pursuing a degree or career that you dislike, don't be afraid to change to something new. Your family may well turn out to be more supportive than you expect.
应对攻略：花一些时间，深究一下你真正想要实现的人生目标是什么。如果你现在正在攻读的学位或从事的行业并非你的心仪之选，那么就勇敢地去选择“新欢”吧。你的家人很可能比你想象中更乐于支持你的改变。