男人不理解女人的是什么

Once a man confessed, "The great question I have not been able to answer is What does a woman want?" Many husbands and boyfriends wonder the same thing today. But modern psychologists--and women--know the answer. A woman wants most everything a man wants: success, power, status, money, love, marriage, children, happiness, and fulfillment. 一位男士曾坦白地说；"一个我无法回答的大问题是：女士想要的是什么？"今天，许多丈夫和男朋友仍为这同一问题而感到困惑。不过，现代心理学家——和女士们--知道答案。女士们想要的同男士们想要的几乎没有什么两样。她们需要的是：成功、权力、地位、金钱、爱情、婚姻、孩子、幸福以及自我价值的实现。

Women need to communicate this more clearly. Here are five things that should be told to men. 女士们需要的是将这些要求明确地说出来。这里有五点该对男士们谈一谈。

1. Women need genuine, personal displays of affection. 1. 女士们需要真诚的、发自内心的感情。

The breed of women who lives off the expensive gifts a man gives her is vanishing. A woman who values love for its own sake tends to be wary of gifts that are too costly. An expensive gift can make her feel that a man is trying to buy her affections and sees her as a prize rather than a person. 那类以男士送贵重礼品为其择偶标准的女性正在销声匿迹。珍视爱情本身价值的女性对太昂贵的礼物持审慎的态度。贵重的礼品使她们感到男士是在试图购买她们的感情，把她们看成是赢得的奖品而不是一个人。

Gifts that give women genuine pleasure are those with a personal touch-an item of clothing, for example--because such gifts, when chosen properly, are statements of caring and high form of flattery, demonstrating recognition of a loved one's special tastes. The best gifts, from a woman's point of view, are those that are on going, rather than flamboyant. In fact, what's missing from a lot of lives is romance, such as doing small chores for her, sharing a laugh with her. These are the "gifts" that really count. 能给女士们带来真诚快乐的礼物是那些具有个人感情特色的物品，比如一件衣服，因为这类礼物若挑选得当，能体现出关心和爱慕之情，表明你了解心爱人的特殊喜好。从女性角度来看，最好的礼物是那些普通的小礼品，而不是什么花哨艳丽的东西。实际上，生活之中缺乏的是浪漫之情，比如说，为她做些家务，同她一起开怀大笑。这些"礼物"才是真正有价值的。

2. Women need a sympathetic ear. 2. 女士们需要一位具有同情心的听众。

A simple conversation can be different event to a man and a woman. For a man, a conversation is a way to define a problem, debate the rights and wrongs, and find a solution. To do that, he may repeatedly interrupt the woman until she "understands" the point he's making. But a woman would rather have a friendly ear from a man, instead of advice. Women more often view conversation as a way of sharing their emotions with the listener. They talk until they feel better. A man who wants to get through to a woman conversationally needs to tap into emotions rather than solutions. And, often, that can mean just listening. 一次普通的谈话对男士和对女士来说可以是两码事。对男士来说，谈话是弄清问题，明辨是非，找出解决问题办法的方式。为了达到此目的，他可能多次打断女士，直到她"明白"他的意图为止。但是，女士却宁愿男士友好地听她谈话，而不要给她提意见。女性常常把谈话看作是同听者分享情感的方式．她们往住要说到自我感觉较好的地步才收住话题。男士若想在交谈中与女士沟通，就需要把注意力集中在情感上，而不是在解决问题的办法上。这常常就意味着应当做一个好的听众。