男人喜欢谎报身高,你中枪了吗

A few years ago I was having a drink with friends, including one who was dating a guy she had met online. Eventually she took me aside and asked me a question.
几年前，我与几个朋友相聚小酌。其中一个朋友当时正在与一个网上认识的男人约会。后来她把我叫到一旁，问了我一个问题。

'How tall are you?' she said.
她说：你多高？

'I am exactly 6-feet tall,' I replied.
我回答说：正好六英尺（合1.83米）。

'How tall would you say my boyfriend is?'
她问：你觉得我男朋友有多高？

I eyeballed the man standing a few feet away. '5-8. Maybe 5-9,' I replied.
我仔细打量了一下站在几英尺外的那个男人，回答说：五英尺八英寸，要不就五英尺九英寸。

She frowned. 'He says that he's 6-feet tall.'
她皱了皱眉说：他说他六英尺。

'Did he also tell you that he has hair?'
我问道：他有没有说是包括头发的高度？

All my life I have been dealing with guys who lie about their height. Deep down inside, every man wants to be 6-feet tall, even though the national average is 5-10. For men, it is like being a millionaire; it is a club to which a man simply must belong. Lying about one's height, even when there is no chance of getting away with it, is a male thing. Like most male things, it is stupid.
我一辈子都在与谎报身高的男人打交道。内心深处，每个男人都希望自己有六英尺，尽管全美成年男性的平均身高是五英尺10英寸。对男人来说，这就像是必须成为百万富翁；这是一个男人们必须成为其中一员的俱乐部。在身高问题上说谎，即使是不攻自破的谎言，这也是关乎男人尊严的问题。和很多关乎男人尊严的问题一样，谎报身高很愚蠢。

When I was a little kid, the only thing I wanted was to be 6-feet tall. I was convinced that if I was six feet tall, people would leave me alone. I reached that height in my late teens and abruptly, as if on cue, the thugs, punks and bullies who had terrorized me all through high school called off the dogs. Forever. Thugs, punks and bullies always take the path of least resistance, preying on the weak, the elderly, the distaff and the short. They particularly like thin, female octogenarian dwarfs. Preferably blind.
我小时候最大的愿望就是长到六英尺。那时我相信，如果我有六英尺，别人就不会欺负我。我不到20岁时真的长到了六英尺，突然之间，就像是安排好的，那些在整个高中时期恐吓我的流氓、混混和霸王一下子都不再找我的茬了。永远也没再找茬。流氓、混混和小霸王都喜欢捡软柿子捏，欺负那些体弱、年迈、女孩和个子矮的人。他们尤其喜欢欺负瘦小的老太太，最好还是双目失明的。

One cautionary word about height: It's important not to get greedy. Be satisfied to stand 6-feet tall, rather that 6-3 or 6-4. I have it on solid authority from close, taller friends that if you are unusually tall, somebody with a Napoleonic complex will eventually take a swing at you. Just to prove something. But if you are 6-feet tall, they will leave you alone.
在身高问题上我要提醒一句：很重要的一点是别太贪心。六英尺就好，不用非得六英尺三英寸或六英尺四英寸。我在这个问题上很有发言权，因为和我关系密切的大个子朋友曾有过这样的遭遇，如果你非常高，那些有“拿破仑情结”的人会在言语上攻击你，只是为了证明一些东西。但如果你身高六英尺，他们就不会找你的茬。

Men know this. They know that being 6-feet tall puts you in the company of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, men who were always left alone. So they lie about their height. The problem is, in order for them to lie about their height in a convincing fashion they must induce you to lie about your height as well.
男人们清楚这一点。他们知道身高六英尺可以让你跟约翰・韦恩(John Wayne)和克林特・伊斯特伍德(Clint Eastwood)一样没人敢找茬。所以，他们喜欢谎报身高。问题是，他们为了以一种令人信服的方式谎报身高，必须诱使你也谎报你的身高。