男人喜欢谎报身高,你中枪了吗

'You must go about six-two, six-three, right?' men 3 inches shorter than me like to say.
那些比我矮三英寸的男人喜欢说：你肯定有六英尺两英寸，要不就是六英尺三英寸，是不是？

'No, I am exactly 6-feet tall,' I reply.
我回答说：不，我六英尺整。

'No, I think you must be taller than that,' they insist.
他们会坚持说：不，我想你肯定不止六英尺。

'I'm 6-feet tall and I am exactly 6-feet tall,' I respond. 'I can go get a tape measure if you like.'
我回答说：我六英尺，整六英尺；如果你愿意，我可以去拿尺子量量。

There are all sorts of things you can lie about with impunity. You can lie about your income or your military service or having seen Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock. Assertions like this are too hard to verify, much less disprove, so you can usually get away with even the most bold-faced lies.
你可以在很多事情上说谎而不必担心受到惩罚。你可以谎报收入或兵役或曾在伍德斯托克看见过吉米・亨德里克斯(Jimi Hendrix)。像这样的话很难去核实，更不用说去证明是假的，所以，即使是最厚颜无耻的谎言通常也不会被揭穿。

No one is going to check to see if you really went to the Sorbonne or lost in the final rounds of a Quebec spelling bee because you misspelled 'cauchemardesque.'
没人会去核实你是否真的上过索邦大学(Sorbonne)，或是因拼错了“cauchemardesque”（法语，意为“噩梦似的”）一词而在魁北克拼字比赛的最后一轮中落败。

No one is going to check to see if you once decked the editor of Details with a single punch. Nor is anyone likely to check if you say that you once worked as an intern for Mike Huckabee or grew up in the same neighborhood as Trent Reznor.
没人会去核实你是否曾将Details杂志的主编一拳打倒在地。也没有人会去核实你是否曾给迈克・赫克比(Mike Huckabee)做实习生，或是小时候与特伦特・雷泽诺(Trent Reznor)住在同一个社区。

But you can't lie about your height. Height is scientifically verifiable. Those of us who are authentically, certifiably 6-feet tall will call you out on it. We are not letting you into our club. It's nothing personal. It's just the way things are.
但你不能在身高问题上说谎。身高是可以用科学的方法验证的。我们这些身高确确实实、且有凭有据为六英尺的人会揭穿你们。我们不会让你们进入我们的俱乐部。这丝毫不带个人感情成分。事情本来就是这样。

A while back, during a medical exam, the physician assistant told me that I was 6-foot-1. This was impossible. It would mean that I had grown an inch since my 50th birthday. Things like that do not happen on this planet.
前不久，在一次体检中，医生助手对我说，我身高六英尺一英寸。这是不可能的。这将意味着我50岁生日之后又长了一英寸。天底下绝不会发生这样的事。

Worse, it would mean that all the 5-foot-11 men I had accused of lying about their height had been telling the truth. So I would have to apologize to them.
更糟糕的是，这将意味着那些我指责其谎报身高的五英尺11英寸的人说的都是实话。所以，我将不得不向他们道歉。

'How tall are you?' I asked the man.
我问这名助手：你多高？

'Six feet,' he replied, drawing himself up to his full 70 inches.
他努力将他自己五英尺10英寸身子挺直，回答说：六英尺。

'In your dreams,' I muttered under my breath. 'In your dreams.'
我低声咕哝道：做梦去吧，做梦去吧。