女性依然难以逆袭 印度容不下剩女

I don't see it that way. Everyone around me may tell me a man is perfect for me, but I feel it's me who gets to decide.He might be earning a lot, might belong to the best of families and might be a nice person, but if I don't find him compatible to talk to or to be with, I can't picture being married to him. I don't subscribe to the idea of striking a compromise right at the advent of my married life. The adjustments and compromises should be made in the marriage, not while finding the person you want to be with.There is a stigma associated with a woman who is single. When a woman says she is single by choice, it's more or less assumed that she is not respectable.There have been many occasions when I have tried to rent an apartment in a good locality and been refused. People don't like to rent apartments to single, professional women. They are afraid that someone like me will behave immorally - have loud parties, have men to stay overnight, be a bad influence on the surrounding families. No-one can imagine that I might be an ordinary person with a perfect social life and a normal, healthy lifestyle.Property owners are always looking for a chance to evict us. The slightest of errors and we are asked to leave. We can't live a normal lifestyle. There are rules and regulations for everything. And if by any chance it happens that a male friend comes to drop you home one day, you're immediately branded a prostitute.
也许他收入高，来自上层的家庭，人也很好，可如果我和他谈不来或合不来，我就无法想象自己会嫁给他。我不认同结婚之前就做出妥协的看法，找对象这件事容不得妥协，调整和妥协应该在结婚以后。在印度，单身女人和耻辱联系在一起，一个女人如果说自己选择单身，或多或少，人们会认为她不是个值得尊敬的女人。有很多次，我想在一个风气好的居住区租一套公寓，都遭到了拒绝。人们不喜欢把公寓租给单身的职业女性。他们害怕像我这样的人会做出伤风败德的事——举办吵闹的聚会，留男人过夜，给周边有家室的邻居带来坏影响。没有人能想象我也许是个社交生活正常、生活方式健康的普通人。业主总是在寻找机会赶我们出门，稍有不慎，就叫我们走人。我们无法过上正常的生活，凡事都有条条框框。一旦有一天有男性朋友送你回公寓，你马上就会被贴上“妓女”的标签。基本上可以说，一个单身女人若不和家人住在一起，而是独自一人生活，人们就会认为她道德沦丧。

Essentially, if a single woman lives an independent life, away from her family it's assumed she may have loose morals.The more I keep living this life, the less chance there is of finding a good husband from a well-respected family. At times I wonder whether I should just give in and marry the next guy who is more or less suitable, in order to spare my parents.I am lucky that my family is extremely supportive. My parents stand by me when it comes to waiting for the right guy to come along, but they too face extreme pressure from relatives and everyone in their circle. "When is Suruchi getting married?" They get asked this question every day, and it makes them anxious. They begin to wonder if they are doing the wrong thing by letting their daughter make her own choices. They worry about my well-being. They are not sure that Indian society will allow me to live happily if I remain single.There were cases where people told my parents that educating their daughter and letting her become an independent person had been a grave mistake. Now their daughter has high expectations and getting her married has become so difficult! I can't thank my parents enough for shouldering that burden. They are a great support but I keep wondering what to do to make it easier for them. I am much less worried about myself. I know that being with the wrong man would be far worse than being by myself.As long as I remain in this society, the pressure will only keep increasing. To be honest, I have thought about moving abroad if I end up being single for another year or so.Going away from society's prying eyes is the only way to be left alone and allowed to live a peaceful life. People won't question my marriage plans if I am in a foreign country. Surprisingly, Indians then become quite open-minded. Everything is OK if you're living abroad.At the end, it's not easy being single at 28. It's a struggle I face 24/7. I have decided to live with it.
要是继续过这种独立的生活，找到受人尊敬的婆家和好丈夫的机率会越来越小。有时我会想为了让父母少遭罪，自己是不是该做出让步，嫁给下一个和我差不多般配的男人？我很幸运，因为我的家人极力支持我的做法。在“等待对的那个人”的问题上，我的父母和我站在同一战线，但他们也面临着来自亲戚和朋友圈的巨大压力。“Suruchi什么时候结婚啊？”每天都有人问他们这个问题，这让他们十分担忧。他们开始怀疑，把选择权交给女儿，是不是做错了？他们担心我会不会过得幸福。他们不确定在印度这样的社会里，单身的我会不会活得开心。有时，有人会跟我父母说，送女儿上学，让她们变独立，是个大错误。现在女儿有了高期望，结婚变得非常困难。我很感谢我的父母承担着这个负担。他们很支持我，但是我不由得想着该怎样让他们的日子好过些，我倒没那么担心自己。我知道和错的人一起生活比自己一个人生活要糟糕得多。只要我留在这个社会中，压力只会越来越大。老实说，我想过要是再过一年，我还是单身的话，我就搬到国外去。逃离印度社会爱窥探的眼睛是不受人打扰、过上平静的生活的唯一方法。如果是在国外，人们不会问我对结婚的打算。出人意料的是，那时印度人也变得非常开明了。住在国外，一切都会很好。总之，28岁了，还单身，真不容易，我每时每刻都为此挣扎，我已决定要忍受下去。