拍马屁的艺术：揭秘7招最有效的拍马屁技巧

Yes, kissing ass can help you get ahead. But studies have also shown that when it’s obvious it can backfire.The following seven techniques for ingratiation and influence are most effective in moving up the corporate ladder without looking like a kiss-ass:没错，拍马屁确实能帮助你平步青云，不过研究也表明，当你的奉承太过明显的时候，那反而会弄巧成拙。下面介绍七种最有效的溜须拍马之术，不仅能让你扶摇直上，还能让你拍马屁也不着痕迹。

1.Frame flattery as likely to make the boss uncomfortable. …one manager noted that he commonly prefaces flattering remarks with such phrases as “I don’t want to embarrass you but. . . ,” or “I know you won’t want me to say this but. . . ,” or “You’re going to hate me for saying this but…
1.先抑后扬地拍马屁。有一个经理表示，他经常面对诸如此类的恭维话语：“我不想让你觉得尴尬，但是……”，或“我知道你不希望我提起，但是……”，或“我说了你恐怕要怪我，但是……”

2.Frame flattery as advice seeking. …One manager suggested, “. . . if I wanted someone else to know that I admire him, rather than saying ‘I really admire you,’ I would be more likely to ask him for advice: ‘How were you able to pull off that strategy so successfully?’ something like that . . . the basic question is, how can I replicate your success?” Such questions frame flattery as an attempt to learn from alter rather as an attempt to curry favor…”
2.寻求建议式的拍马屁。一位经理建议说，“……假如我想让某人知道我很崇拜他，与其说‘我崇拜你’，我更倾向于向对方寻求建议：‘你怎么能做到那么成功地推动那条战略的？’诸如此类。这类的模板是，我要如何复制你的成功？”这样的马屁就好像我是想从对方身上学到什么，而不是想要巴结他。”

3.Argue prior to agreeing with the boss. “…A focal actor may reduce the likelihood that opinion conformity is interpreted as ingratiation by challenging an influence target’s opinion prior to agreeing with him or her. The focal actor’s expression of agreement is then more likely to be interpreted as a genuine affirmation of alter’s opinion rather than as an attempt to curry favor…”
3.赞成老板的意见之前先提出异议。“一个优秀的演员会先提出反对意见，再赞同老板的意见，通过这种方式拍马屁就会不着痕迹。因为这种赞同表现得更像是一种对别人意见的充分肯定而不是在溜须拍马。”

4.Find out the boss’s position without asking him, then mention it in front of him as your own.…As one manager suggested, “. . . if you just keep agreeing with the boss it might seem like you’re sucking up . . . but if you find out the boss’ opinion on a policy from talking to his friend and then later in talking to the boss you raise the same opinion . . . it would come across as more sincere.”
4.在不问本人的前提下得知老板的立场，然后在他面前以你的立场的形式提出。一位经理这么说，“假如你总是同意你老板的意见或许会显得你在拍马屁……但是如果你通过和老板的朋友聊天找出了老板关于某个政策的意见，然后在和你老板讲话时提出相同的意见……那就显得诚恳多了。”