跨国恋背后的艰辛与浪漫

Andrea Bacon, 29, who works as a foreign expert in a meteorological lab, came to Beijing more than 18 months ago with her Chinese boyfriend, whom she met in the US. According to her, Chinese men are very considerate and pay attention to every detail, which she thinks is very touching.
29岁的安德烈亚?培根是一所气象实验室的外国专家，一年半之前，她随中国男友来到北京，他们二人是在美国相遇的。在她看来，中国男士十分体贴，关注每一个细节，她觉得这非常令人感动。

“Obviously, Beijing is quite a strange place for me and at the beginning he tried to accompany me to many multicultural events so I could mingle in a familiar environment. I thought that was very sweet,” Bacon says.
“显然，北京对我来说是一个完全陌生的城市。起初，他尝试着陪我去参加一些跨文化交流活动，让我可以融入一个相对熟悉的环境之中。我认为这是十分温柔体贴的举动。”培根说。

However, Bacon also admits that her boyfriend’s attitude is very Chinese and the problems that face all young people in the big city, such as buying an apartment, weigh heavily on him. “He always seems to be under some sort of pressure, but I care more about how well we get along with each other,” Bacon says.
尽管如此，培根承认男友的观念仍十分中国化，那些大城市年轻人所面临的买房等问题也深深困扰着他。“他看上去总是压力重重，但我更在乎我们之间如何更好地相处。”培根说道。

Bridging the dating gap
跨越距离爱上你

For Roy Huggins, who has provided long-term counseling for many interracial couples in the US and other countries since 2010, overcoming cultural differences is crucial to ensuring the longevity of a relationship.
罗伊?哈金斯从2010年开始就向美国及其他国家的跨国恋情侣提供长期咨询服务。他认为，克服文化差异是确保跨国恋稳定长久的关键。

“Based on academic studies and my experience with clients from Japan, Southeast Asia, and a few from China, being from a collectivist culture, Chinese partners are likely to clash with American or other Western partners about responsibility to family and helping each other meet individual needs,” he says. “For example, a Chinese partner may think less of an American or Canadian partner who seems ‘needy’.”
“结合学术研究，以及我与日本、东南亚及中国客户打交道的经验来看，受集体主义文化熏陶的中国人在家庭责任、满足彼此需求等方面的观念往往与美国或其他西方人截然相反，”他说。“比如，对于美国人或者加拿大人认为严重的问题，他们的中国情侣可能会认为无足轻重。”

In a recent article It’s Hard to Say “I Love You” in Chinese, on China File online magazine, Roseann Lake, a China-based writer from the US, discovered that Chinese men find it very hard to cross the boundary into uncharted territory and express their love in a straightforward, direct way, even though they may be intensely in love with their partner or spouse.
在线杂志《中参馆》最新刊登了一篇名为《难以启齿的“我爱你”》的文章，现居中国的美国作家罗斯安?莱克发现，即使是向他们深爱着的伴侣或配偶，中国人依旧很难跨越进入未知领域，大胆直接地表达爱意。