揭秘职业教练：10项鲜为人知的引导技能

When have you done something that changed your life? Maybe a class you took. Maybe practicing something. Maybe working with a mentor.
你，什么时候做过改变自己人生的事？或许是你修过的一门课，或许是练习某项技能，或许是和一位导师一起工作。

It happened to me studying to become a professional coach. The work had an immense and positive impact on my entire life; changing how I see and live in the world. The tools and methodology enabled me to become an expert at the coaching process. But, even more important I learned this: Coaching is not just training. It is a way to live your life.
对我而言，答案是成为职业顾问。这项工作对我的整个人生有了深刻积极的影响，改变了我的人生观和生活方式。学到的工具和方法论使我精于教练过程的专家。但是，更重要的是，我学到了这点：教练不只是训练，更是一种生活方式。

What I now teach, I strive to live; to be the same person coaching as I am when I'm not. It's "walking the walk... talking the talk." Integrity. Wholeness. Authenticity.
现在我所教的，都亲身实践；如果我还没做到，就会努力成为自己教别人要去成为的那个人。常言道“做归做…说归说”。要做一个正直，全面，真实的人。

1. Hold the client's agenda
尊重客户的议程

Coaches assist you to get what you want. We always focus on your choices. We never decide what is best for a client.
教练帮助你得到你想要的。我们总是把客户的选择项放在首要，而不是替客户决定什么是最好的选择。

Who you are and what you want is your agenda. You have goals, hopes, dreams and intentions, and it's our job to help you meet them. We honor your values and assist you to be true to them.
你是谁，想要什么？这就是你作为客户的议程。你有目标，希望，梦想和意图，而我们的工作就是帮助你实现这些。我们尊重你的价值，并帮你实现它们。

Having an open mind, being non-judgmental is critical in coaching.
有开放的心态，不主观评判，在职业教练这行是非常重要的。

2. Detached involvement
能够超然事外

Detaching has purpose, because even while you're intensely involved and empathetic with your clients life and questions, you remain totally open and objective.
这种超然事外是有目的的。这样一来，即使当你站在客户的角度，设身处地去思考他们的生活和问题时，你仍然能完全开放和客观地看待。

Empathy allows you to connect emotionally with people. It's not sympathy, where you feel sorry for someone, instead you feel with them.
设身处地为客户着想，将你和他人于情感上连接起来。这不是为某人惋惜的同情之心，而是和他人一起感受他们的感觉。

3. Three levels of listening
三个层次的倾听

Listening takes practice. It's at the center of all the transformations that take place in coaching.
倾听是需要练习的。这是教练过程中所有转变的核心。

a. Subjective everyday listening, where you relate what is being said only to yourself.
a. 主观倾听是我们每日在做的。这种情况下，你只听到别人对你讲的内容。

b. Objective listening is deeper, with more focus on the other person.
b. 客观倾听则更深层次，更多的焦点放在他人身上。

c. Intuitive listening is the deepest, where you get to the heart of another person, using all your senses and instincts. It's the most valuable and powerful form of listening because it enables a trained coach to connect with you.
c. 直觉倾听是最深层次的。这时，你用所有的感官和直觉，深触他人内心。这是最有价值、最具力量的倾听形式，因为职业教练可以和你在情感上接轨。

Listening is a simple act and when you trust your intuition, you'll hear -- the tones, silences and energy levels of that person.
倾听是很简单的动作。当你相信直觉的时候，你会听到另外一个人话语中的——语气、沉默、和能量。

4. Get rid of judgment
去掉你个人的判断

In classes, it seemed we worked with every life situation there is. Coaching couples, individuals, anger, joy, your inner critic, building confidence, questions of age, family, children, grief, work, religion, love, sex, money, business and the unknown.
在课堂上，我们看似处理过每种可能的生活情境。教导夫妻、个人、愤怒、欣喜、内心的批判、建立自信和关于年龄、家庭、孩子、悲伤、工作、宗教、爱、性、金钱、商业和其他所有未知的问题。

It wasn't just practice, but an awakening to the urgent obligation we each have never to judge another human being. Never to see their choices as good/bad, right/wrong. Not to be biased, prejudiced or opinionated on how someone else lives their life.
那不只是练习，而是唤醒那种急需的义务——我们绝不能评判他人。不能评判他们的选择是好/坏，对/错。不能对他人怎样生活存有偏见、成见或观点。

This is what I mean when I say -- coaching is not just training, it's a way of life.
这就是我之前所讲的——教练不只是训练，更是一种生活方式。

5. Breaking up blocks
找到内在的阻力

When Tim Miller (name changed) started coaching, he was a successful CPA, out of work, and not sure what he wanted to do. He described himself as, " ...a financial failure, never amounting to much, lazy, an underachiever."Immediately we talked about his heckler or "gremlin," his inner voice that said: "Tim, you'll always be a failure."
当蒂姆·米勒（化名）开始接受培训时，他曾是个成功的注册会计师，工作之外，却不清楚自己想做什么。他自我描述“…经济上一塌糊涂，从没存过多少钱，很懒，差人一等。”之后我们马上谈到了他的负能量小人，在他内心呼喊“蒂姆，你会一直失败下去”的声音。

Coaching blocks is one of the important tools used to help a client get unstuck, to see what limits their potential, undermining confidence and progress.
寻找内在的阻力，是帮助客户指点迷津最重要的方法之一。如此，客户可以看到什么在限制他们的潜力、阻挡他们的自信和进步。

Naming your "gremlin" helps take its power away.
找出你内在的负能量小人吧！