男人来自火星,女人来自金星 (六)

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Mr. Fix It and the Home Improvement Committee

修理先主弓改善家庭委员会

The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don't listen. Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks, or he listens for a few beats, assesses what is bothering her, and then he proudly puts on his Mr. Fix It cap and offers her a solution to make her feel better. No matter how many times she tells him that he's not listening, he doesn't get it and keeps doing the same thing. She wants empathy, he thinks she wants solutions.

女人对男人最常见的抱怨是男人不肯倾听。当女人说话时，男人不管是忽略还是听一点点，在评估过困扰女人的原因后，他们都会骄傲地戴上"修理先生"的帽子，提供一个能够令女人好过一点的解答。当她不感激这个爱的姿态时，他就觉得迷惑，不管她告诉他多少次他没在听她说什么，他仍然依旧不听，且一直做着同样的事。女人要的是感情的共鸣，但男人以为她要解答。

The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them. When a woman loves a man she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. She forms the Home Improvement Committee, and he becomes her primary focus. No matter how much he resists her help, she persists waiting for an opportunity to help him or tell him what to do. She thinks she's nurturing him, while he feels he's being controlled. Instead, he wants her acceptance.

男人对女人最常见的抱怨是女人总是企图要改变他们。当女人爱上男人时，她觉得有责任帮助他成长，并帮他改善他的做事方式。她组织一个"改善家庭委员会"，男人便成了她注意的主要焦点。不管他如何拒绝她的帮助，她都坚持等待任何帮助他的机会或告诉他该做什么。她以为她在教育他，但他却觉得被控制了。结果他反过来要求她的接受。

These two problems can finally be solved by first understanding why men offer solutions and why women seek to improve.Let's pretend to go back in time, and observe life on Mars and Venus -before the planets discovered one another or came to Earth we can gain some insights into men and women.

这两个问题可借由先了解为何男人提供解答、女人寻求改善来解决。让我们假装回到从前，观察火星和金星上的生活--在地球未彼发现或他们未来到地球以前--我们可以观察到男人与女人。