你有过“微出轨”吗？和前任有联系到底是不是“微出轨”？

Have you ever private-messaged someone online and kept it from your partner?

你有没有试过躲着你的伴侣私下给某人发信息？

According to an Australian psychologist, a range of actions, including having a secret online conversation and leaving heart emojis on a friend’s Facebook post, might be seen as micro-cheating.

据澳大利亚一名心理学家称，一系列的行为，包括在网上秘密交谈，在朋友的脸书上留下表情符号，可能都被视为“微出轨”。

Melanie Schilling told Huffington Post Australia that it comes down to "seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship".

梅拉妮·希林向赫芬顿邮报澳大利亚分部解释说，关键是“看似微不足道的行为，表明了一个人在情感上或身体上关注了伴侣意外的另外一个人”。

Further examples she gave include saving someone in your phone contacts under a different name, reaching out to an ex-partner to mark a significant event, and sharing private jokes.

她给出的更多的例子，包括在手机上储存某人的联系方式却标注另外一个名字，以纪念某重大事件为缘由联系前伴侣，并分享私人笑话。

But these examples divided social media, with some people defending the term, while others called it abusive.

但是这些例子在社交媒体上引发对立讨论，一些人捍卫这个词，另一些人则说这是语言暴力。

Some people on social media saw the funny side and made light of the variety of examples given, presumably wondering where to draw the line.

社交媒体上的一些人则通过各种例子看到了有趣的一面，想知道应该在哪里画线。

Others were less convinced by some of the specific examples given, with one user saying that communicating with an ex-partner was not necessarily problematic.

其他一些人则不太同意一些具体的例子，有一个用户说，与前任沟通不一定就是有问题。

But some people disagreed, with one person suggesting that reminiscing with an ex is "dodgy", and another claiming that keeping up a relationship with an ex is "disrespectful".

但有人不同意，有人说回忆前任是“狡猾的”行为，另一个人声称与前任保持关系是一种“不敬”。

And Dureen felt the issue was not quite as black and white as it might first appear.

杜林认为这个问题并不像它最初出现的那样黑白分明。

Dan Savage, author of a syndicated relationship advice column in the United States, took to Twitter to criticise the term, warning that in his experience it was indicative of "controlling" partners.

美国一家情感关系咨询专栏作者丹?萨维奇在推特上批评了这个词，并警告说，根据他的经验，这是“控制”伴侣的标志。

He said that if your partner tells you that you are micro-cheating, it should be seen as a "red flag" in a relationship, adding: "You know who regards these sorts of behaviours as cheating? Abusers."

他说，如果你的伴侣告诉你，你在微出轨，那就表示你们的关系亮红灯了，他补充说：“你知道谁把这种行为看作是出轨吗？是施虐者。”

While some people were also uncomfortable with the term, one person suggested that people take a step back rather than try to apply "micro-cheating" to every kind of relationship.

虽然也有人对这个词感到不舒服，但有人建议说我们应该退一步，而不是试图把“微出轨”这个词于各种关系上。