老友记第九季mp3和剧本下载922:The one with the donor

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The one with the donor

[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]

Charlie: (while Joey's giving her a massage) Oh! That feels sooo good!

Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!

Charlie: I'm sorry, what?

Rachel: Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma.

Charlie: From... Cosmo??

Rachel: Yeah, yeah... It's... "climax your way to better skin".

Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!

Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.

Rachel: (hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me!

Joey: Oh hey Rach!

Rachel: Yeah...

Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.

Rachel: Oh, well...

Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.

Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.

Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.

Rachel: Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!!

Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!

Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?

Joey: What's the matter, Pheebs?

Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!

Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!

Phoebe: Exactly!

Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!

Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!

Rachel: Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something.

Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great!

Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.

Rachel: That's not what we're gonna do!

Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?

Opening credits

[Scene: Doctor Connelly's office]

Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!

Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!

Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my spemp3 have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!

Doctor Connelly: (entering) Hi there.

Chandler: Hi.

Monica: Hi.

Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.

Monica: Ok.

Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.

Chandler: Oh, DAMN IT!

(Dr. Connelly glares at Chandler)

Monica: Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.

Doctor Connelly: Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a spemp3 donor.

Monica: (long pause) Ok.

Doctor Connelly: And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt.

Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on th