艾伦秀第112期:愚人节

You have to admit, Ellen.It took a lot of balls to pull off this prat.

你得承认 艾伦 为了整这出真要不少乒乓球

I was gonna say that.And, uh... Oh my God.

我正要说这个 呃 天啊

Don't I have security around here? 

这都没保安吗

How did this happen? How in the world.

怎么会有这种事儿 到底怎么...

Can I just end by telling you the obvious? 

我能告诉你一件显而易见的事吗

What's that?I adore you.I adore you too, but now it's on, 

什么 我欣赏你 我也欣赏你 不过现在要开战了

Before these funny games, it was jokes,

之前都只是玩玩 都是些玩笑

But now,it is on, Lauer.Alright. 

不过现在 劳尔 我跟你杠上了 好吧

Alright, you got me and you got me good.Not.

好吧 被你整了 还整得挺惨 才怪

You call that prank Lauer?For shock.

你这就叫整蛊了吗 劳尔 真让人震惊

All I'm gonna say is,I barely even wasn't trying before.

我要说的是 我之前都还没放大招

Now April Fool's Day is right around the corner,

4月1号愚人节马上就要到了

So as April second,April third, April fourth.

然后就是4月2号 4月3号 4号 

Alright, anyway, I'm gonna get you. 

好了 不管怎么样 我会整你的

I will. I have a...I'm gonna move on.

我会的 我想到个... 先继续录节目

One more important thing I have to talk about is Classic Joke Friday. 

还有一个更重要的环节 接下来要说的是"周五经典笑话"

Okay, are you ready,everybody.It's a good one I think.

大家准备好了吗 我觉得这个很经典

Why did the bird go to hospital?Why did the bird go to hospital? 

鸟为什么去医院 鸟为什么去医院

Because he needed a "tweetment". 

因为它要"吱疗"