"谢耳朵"吉姆．帕森斯上脱口秀 坦白自己没有运动细胞

Here's about the time. Let's be right back with Jim Parsons. Thank god, you were great.
就到这里吧。等下出场的是Jim Parsons.感谢你，你真是太棒了。

All right my first guest tonight.
他是今晚的第一个嘉宾。

Two-time Emmy Award-winning actor for his role as Sheldon on the hit show -- The Big Bang Theory.
两届艾美奖得主，在《生活大爆炸》中饰演Sheldon而走红。

We've been seeing that every Thursday night.
每周四晚上都在电视机前守候着观看的。

Please welcome Jim Parsons, Jim.让我们一起欢迎Jim Parsons.

-Have a sit, my friend. -How's it going?
-请坐。-你好。

Good to see you again.
很高兴再次见到你。

It's good to be here again.
我也很高兴再次上这个节目。

Hello. Thank you.
你好，谢谢。

Sheldon, oh my god.
Sheldon，天啊。

You know I was just thinking as you walked out. You got this suit on, very slender. You're probably one of these guys. Thanksgiving comes, pumpkin pie cake, you can eat whatever you want, can't you?
你刚走出来的时候，穿这身衣服身板显得很苗条，我刚刚就在想你会不会是哪些感恩节的时候，吃南瓜派吃得最没顾虑的人其中之一。

Oh, not as much as I used to. But no, I do have a fast metabolism overall. And I'm now 62 so I think it gets spread out.
没有我过去吃得多了，但总的来说我的新陈代谢还算快的，我现在是62公斤，所以吃的那些就刚好分散在这上面了。

-Yeah -But it gets slow down. You know.
-是 -但是现在新陈代谢有点减缓了，

I started running years ago to...to combat age-related fat issues.
我几年前开始坚持跑步，就为了解决这个更年期肥胖症。

Age-related fat issues?
更年期肥胖症？

I don't know if that's a clinical term, but I'm doing what I can.
我不知道这个是不是医学术语，但我就是尽力表达了。

-I think it's just fat issue. Now that age-related fat issue is... -Probably.
-我觉得就肥胖症算是术语吧。那个更年期肥胖症... -可能吧。

Mine would be because I never had to think about that before.
也许我是对的，因为我以前没必要去考虑这些。

-Oh, OK.
-好吧。

So are you like a gym guy, you're one of those guys...
所以你是个健身狂吗?

No I am not crazy about,I have a treadmill at home or I went outside. No gyms,Gyms are weird for me, I was never...If you can imagine, never played sports, so..
我没有那么疯狂 我一般都是用家里的跑步机。我也会时常出去但不去健身房，健身房就不太适合我，我就从没。.你可能不敢想象，我就从来不玩那些运动，所以...

I didn't spent a lot of time working on at a gym. I just feel, I feel slightly awkward being there anywhere people who know what they're doing. But more important it's like the equipment scares me like I am...I don't mind going to the equipment. I'm so afraid someone in authority is going to get him go you're gonna break it, you know.
我不会在健身房里待很长时间， 我觉得我待在里面就会有一点不灵活，里面的任何人都知道他们在做什么而我不是更可怕的是那些器械，就像。..我不是怕坐到那些器械上，怕的是有些健身房老板会过来跟我说，你这样会弄坏这个器械的。

Or you're going to kill yourself, or whatever. -Yeah.
-或者是你这样是要自杀吗 又或者是其他什么什么。-是。

So I would just rather kind of flop around at home until I break a sweat, and then you know...
所以我宁可在家里这样胡闹，直到出汗为止，就这样。

You're good, you know.
不错。

The reason I don't like it there's always a guy in the window working on.
我不喜欢健身房是因为，总有些人会在玻璃窗前这样锻炼。

-Yeah, what is that? -I mean I would rather been in a gym where people don't...
-那算什么。 -我宁可去到一家，没有那种状况的健身房。

Why they have the glass front?
为什么他们要安置一个玻璃的前门呢?

I don't get too. Are people hoping people would stop by? Like you know, oh, that was good, go and get some?
我也不明白 难道那些人希望有人在门口围观吗?就像“喔，这里挺不错，进去试试吧?”

Like people are going to go:"wow, look at that guy."
也许会这样“喔，看里面那人”

-Exactly -But that doesn't happen.
-就是 -但没人会那样。

-No, I don't think it happens either. -And knows he is never the guys in the window.
-我也觉得没人会那样。 -而且他们清楚地知道他们不会像里面那人一样。

-No, that's true. -Yeah.
-对 -是

Now explain this picture here. This is you with a...
现在来给我解释下这张照片，这是你跟...

-Oh, that's Odis -So you have a rodent problem.
-那是Odis. -看起来你这个小啮齿动物在咬你呢。

-This is not a rodent, that is a dog, ok,that is a dog. -Oh, that's a dog, I'm sorry.
-那不是啮齿动物 那是一只狗。 -好吧，那是只狗。 -不好意思。

He weighs all of 12 pounds and his name is Odis. And I am giving him his medicine.
他叫Odis,现在重12磅。 我正在给它喂药。

Odis is a lovely devoted anxious little guy. He's always being anxious. He tugs on your pants when you're trying to leave the house. He's never sure how to approach to his food. even like everyting makes him nerve.
Odis是只很可爱 会有点焦虑过头的小家伙，他一直都很焦虑，当你要出门的时候他会用力得拽着你的裤子，他也总是有点犹豫该怎么走到食物旁边去，几乎所有事都能让他神经紧张。

Oh, you have no idea. You have to lay it on the floor, he won't eat it off a plate. And then he will be like, go around it, look at it. He's trying figure out what angle to come into the food. This goes on like, I'm not kidding. This goes on like 5 minutes.
你不知道。你必须把食物倒在地板上，他不会吃盘子里的东西，然后他会 就是绕着食物转 盯着它，他在决定该从哪个角度开吃，这会大概。. 我说真的，这会大概持续五分钟左右。

-I think you have a cat,I think you have a cat. -Yeah, I am.
-我觉得你有只猫。 -是啊，我是有只。

I've...I say that. Ya,ya,ya. I'm not kidding and he comes up against your legs and he does that. Anyway, he finally got out of the hand, he was being crate trained. So when I leave the house he goes...
我就这么说的。我没开玩笑，它经常跑过来蹭蹭你的腿。总之这个问题最后解决了，他在接受笼内驯化。每次我出家门，它就要进去。

Crate training?
笼子训练法？

It's...it's...it's...crate, it's cage, it's crate, cage sounds nasty.
那是。..是个箱子。..笼子， 噢不，是箱子，笼子听起来多不友好啊。

But he's like you know when I go away for like more hours than three or four. He has to go into this crate and it's roomy, and there's a pad and he goes to sleep.
但当我出去超过三或四小时，我不得不把它放进箱子里， 里面其实很宽敞， 还有个垫子，它可以在那睡觉。

I see.
明白。

But he did but then he started tearing up everything and he started drawing in the blinds from the... ah the drapes into it.
它会这么做 但一会便开始把所有东西扯个粉碎，它把百叶窗硬是给拽进笼子。

I'm serious, and then he started peeing in it and I thought we have a medical issue.
我说真的。然后开始在里面撒尿，我想它可能需要治疗。

And so I took him... and thousands of dollars of test later.
所以我带他去医院，然后花了几千美刀，做了检查。

I'm not kidding. It's like having a kid.
我说真的 就像有了个孩子一样。

Well not really, but you know um...thousands of dollars later he did have high protein in his urine which was because he was anxious.oh...which was because of high blood pressure.
也不完全像。几千美刀做的测试结果表明，它的尿液里有较高蛋白质含量。这是由高血压引发的。

He was anxious, maybe living in a crate?
而高血压又是因为它很焦虑 也许住在笼子里的缘故吧?

No,knock it off. That's not true.
歇菜吧 没可能的。

Tonight, tonight...Let's go to your place, and I'll put you in a crate.
今
晚，就今晚，我们到你家，把你放到笼子里。

Oh,knock it off.
歇菜吧。

Then I'll come back in a few hours and see if you've peed on the floor.
过几个小时我回来，然后看你有没有在地上撒尿。

Let me tell you what, that's exactly the problem,though.
告诉你吧，这就是问题所在。

If you leave me out of my crate I won't pee in the house and I won't tear up your shoes.
如果你走时不把我关进笼子 我才不会在房子里撒尿。才不会把你的鞋子撕个稀巴烂。

Now somebody surprised me, you said you didn't play sports. --No, I did not.
-某人爆料 ,你不做运动。 -是的 我不碰那玩意。

I heard you talking sports backstage.
可我刚在后台听你在谈论运动比赛。

-Oh, I love watching sports.--Oh you like watching...--I grew into watching sports.
-我喜欢看人比赛。 -你喜欢看啊。-我开始变得喜欢看比赛了。

Football, are you a football guy?
你是橄榄球迷吗?

I got into football. Football was like my last hurdle.
我喜欢上了橄榄球 橄榄球可算得上是最难喜欢上的一个运动了

I was into tennis, I watched baseball, and then two years ago, I was like...I'm gonna make a commitment to get involved with football, oh, watching it.
我也喜欢网球，也看棒球比赛。就在两年以前，我宣誓对足球事业矢志不渝，当然是观看足球比赛的事业。

Er, because everybody does, but you don't like it,though, do you?
因为每个人都看足球，但你不喜欢，对吧?

I'm not a big fan. I'm always doing something on weekend.
我不是很喜欢，我在周末总做些其他事。

Well a lot of people do, Jay, you might want to start.
很多人都看，Jay,你可以考虑下开始看了。

But I like the way, I like the way you make a commitment to watch.
不过我喜欢你的方式，宣誓对观看足球事业的矢志不渝。

Well you have to...So you sit down and forge a plan.
你得...你得坐下制定个计划。

Yes,I was gonna watch every Sunday and I did.
我准备每周日都观看足球比赛，而且我做到了。

And I liked it so much I got involved with Fantasy Football.
我太喜欢看了，我还玩起了梦幻足球。

Yeah, which I really thought I'd be bad at.
我还以为我会很差劲的。

And I mean I kinda have been, I'm in twelfth place out of the twelve of my league but it's not...Now see that would be bad, (It's not good), that would be the definition of bad.
我是说我有点，我是我们队12名球员中的。第12个但这不是说。..看吧，这很差劲，这不算好，这就是差劲的定义。

In fact it's not not good, (no no), don't use not good, that's bad.
事实上不是不算好，别用不算好，那就是差劲。

I'm bad at it, but what I'm not at it is awkward with it.
我差劲，我不是很善于。

I thought well you don't have much a relationship with sports, how you're gonna play Fan...
我觉得，你平时都和运动没有什么瓜葛的一个人，怎么玩得了Fan...

It's sort of the dork's way into sports, you know, it's a number's game, it's reading facts.
就像运动白痴地喜欢上了运动，这就是个数字游戏，讲究阅读比赛数据。

No offence to anybody who plays.
各位玩梦幻橄榄球的不要介意。

-You're wonderful people, well I'm playing. I'm a wonderful person, but, y....you know I feel good about it. Except,though, being in the last place. -Well then why do you think you are so bad?
你们都是很棒的人。我也玩，我也是个很棒的人，但。..我觉得我玩的还行，除了在最后一名。-那你为什么觉得你很差劲?

Well my player got, I, my first pick was Gilmore Charles, and he went down in the second week I think, so there was a point. Philip Rivers hasn't panned out like he should have.
我选的第一个球员是Gilmore Charles,他第二周下榜， 这样算一分。Philip Rivers表现大失水准。

If could I speak to Philip, please help.
如果我能跟Philip说话的话 摆脱你帮帮忙吧。

I need a big game. I'm out of the playoffs.
我需要一场大胜， 我都进不了季后赛了。

Look, we'll take a break. You get your whole fantasy thing together. --Thank you.
好吧，休息一会，你再可以想想 把你和梦幻足球事告诉我们，谢谢。

And we'll be back, more with Jim right after this, be right back.
回来之后 更多关于Jim的事 马上呈现。