想要结婚吗?先做"配对测试"吧!

A British family law firm is urging couples to take a "compatibility quiz" before getting married or deciding to live together.

Bross Bennett's compatibility test focuses on key questions about finances, family ties, children and aspirations that most couples struggle with and might have to answer anyway if their marriage breaks down and they end up divorcing.

Partner Ruth Bross compared taking the quiz to the kind of considerations and research an employer might make before hiring someone.

"No one who is truly committed to a relationship will ever mind making the full and frank disclosure that is asked of them; if they do, you might like to ask yourself why," she said in an emailed statement containing the quiz.

The quiz asks about assets and how each party would like to share them, what kind of relationships they have with their extended family and friends, whether they want children, their religious views, spending habits and career plans:

A copy of the quiz is below:

Finance

Do you know the extent of each other's assets? How do you both view the sharing of these assets? Do you have the same attitude to saving?

Will one of you want to put into a pension what the other wants to put into a new car?

Will you pool your resources or do you want to keep everything separate? Joint accounts or separate? Will you contribute in proportion to your incomes, or equally?

Are you going to have to pay off your partner's debts perhaps from what you thought was going to be the deposit on your house?

Family Ties

What sort of relationship do you have with your extended family? Are they good at staying in touch? Are they local? Affectionate? Over-involved? Have you had any major fallings out?

Children

Do you want children? How many? How do you want to raise your children? What sort of values do you want to pass on?

Religion

What are your religious views -- do you agree on what religion you will bring up the children in? Church/mosque/synagogue? Once a week or once a year? Or no religion at all.

Leisure and fun

Do you like doing the same things in your spare time? Do you share common interests? Is your idea of a holiday lying flat on the beach for two weeks and your partner's rock-climbing?

Lifestyle

What sort of lifestyle are you aiming for? Where do you want to live?

Spending

Do you have an expensive shoe or gadget habit? Does one of you think of a particular purchase as an essential that the other regards as a "discretionary spend"? Do you have any other secret addictions: handbags, chocolate, football? Do you gamble, online or otherwise?

Work

Are your respective career paths compatible, is either of you going to have to make compromises? Are you prepared to? Will you want to give up work when you have children? What does your partner think about this and can you manage financially? What about part-time working?

Roles - traditional or modern?

Will you expect to live along traditional lines: woman as homemaker and man as breadwinner? Who will organise the finances? Will household responsibilities be shared equally? Who will assume responsibility for paying bills?

Honesty

Are there any old flames for whom you still hold a candle?

英国一家家庭法律事务所建议情侣们在结婚或决定同居之前先做个“配对测试”。

布洛斯．贝内特事务所的“配对测试”主要考察金钱、家庭关系、孩子、以及志向等方面的关键问题。这些都是婚姻破裂，以离婚收场时，大多数夫妇都纠缠不休，又不得不面对的问题。

事务所合伙人鲁思．布洛斯将做这项测试比作老板招聘员工前的考查。

她在谈到这项测试的一封邮件声明中说：“真正对两人的关系认真负责的人不会介意毫无保留而且坦诚地回答这些问题，如果他们介意的话，你就要问问自己为什么了。”

测试中提到的问题包括财产，以及每位家庭成员将如何分享这些；与亲友的关系如何；是否想要孩子；宗教信仰；消费习惯；以及职业规划等。

下面就来看看这些测试题吧：

金钱

你们互相了解对方的财产情况吗？你们如何看待这些财产的分配？你们对储蓄持相同看法吗？

会不会一方想存养老金，另一方想买辆新车？

你们将共享资源，还是分开管理？开设共有账户还是个人账户？家庭支出按收入比例，还是平摊？

你会把准备买房的钱拿来给对方还债吗？

家庭关系

你和其他家庭成员之间是何种关系？他们善于保持联络吗？在当地吗？感情很深？过于亲密？你和他们有大的矛盾吗？

孩子

你想要孩子吗？想要几个？你想怎样抚养孩子？你想把怎样的价值观传递给下一代？

宗教

你的宗教观是什么？你们对培养孩子的宗教信仰达成共识了吗？基督教、伊斯兰教、还是犹太教？一周还是一年参加一次宗教活动？或者无宗教信仰？

休闲娱乐

你们在休闲时间的娱乐方式一样吗？有没有共同的兴趣爱好？是否会出现你觉得放假时最好去沙滩晒两周太阳，而你的伴侣想去攀岩的情况？

生活方式

你想要什么样的生活方式？你想在哪里生活？

消费

你有买很贵的鞋子或者小玩意的习惯吗？会不会有一方觉得某种特定的消费是必须品，而另一方觉得“太随意”？你有其它不为人知的购物瘾吗？比如手袋，巧克力，足球？你赌博吗？参与在线赌博还是其他方式？

工作

你们的职业规划协调一致吗？是否有人要做出妥协？你们准备好这样了吗？有了孩子以后你要放弃工作吗？你的伴侣对此怎么想？这样做不会经济拮据吧？做个兼职怎么样？

定位---传统型还是现代型？

你希望按照传统方式生活吗？女人做家庭主妇，男人养家糊口？谁掌管财政大权？家庭职责要平等分担吗？谁来付账单？

忠诚

你还在怀念旧情人吗？

Vocabulary:

extended family: a social unit that contains the nuclear family together with blood relatives, often spanning three or more generations（大家庭，几代同堂的家庭）

joint accounts: a bank account in the names of two or more persons or parties and subject to withdrawals by each（两人共有的银行账户）

falling out: a quarrel or estrangement between persons formerly in close association with one another. Use falling out in a Sentence See images of falling out Search falling out on the Web（争吵，不和）

rock-climbing: 攀岩

breadwinner: a person who earns a livelihood, esp. one who also supports dependents（养家糊口的人，负担家计的人）

old flame: a former sweetheart or lover（旧情人）