和女朋友“冷战” 尽量不要说“cold war”！小心被分手！

有时候，情侣或者好朋友之间会因为一些事情而产生矛盾，有些人不选择直接面对，而是“冷战”。久而久之，双方的关系就会越来越疏远。今天我们就来说说这个“冷战”在英语中要怎么表达？

或许大多数人会想到“cold war”这个短语，但是英语中的“cold war”常用于军事方面，我们都知道历史中的“冷战”指帝国主义国家针对社会主义国家进行的除直接武装进攻以外的各种敌对活动。现泛指国际上进行的不使用武器的斗争。

而情侣之间的“冷战”，其实指的是“冷暴力”，多指某一方的冷漠或轻视和另一方的耿耿于怀或双方闷闷不满、愤愤不平而互不理睬。爱情、亲情、友情等感情的对峙状态。尤指情侣夫妻之间的冷暴力状态。所以我们可以用“silent treatment”来表示。

silent treatment 冷战，沉默对待
an aloof refusal to speak to someone you know.

My girlfriend's giving me the silent treatment because I forgot her birthday.
我女朋友一直跟我冷战呢，因为我忘记了她的生日。

He and his wife have been giving each other the silent treatment.
他和老婆两个人最近一直都在打冷战。

如果双方出现矛盾，建议大家还是语言沟通为好。因为据相关研究，“冷战”会对人们的情感或身体造成很大的伤害，所以切莫“冷战”。

Kipling Williams, a Professor of Psychology at Purdue University who has studied ostracism for twenty years, explains, ‘Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder or silent treatment, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realise the emotional or physical harm that is being done.’
Kipling Williams是普渡大学的心理学教授，他研究“孤立”现象已经20年了，他解释说：“排斥和忽视他人，就像是和他们冷战一样，这种行为常用于惩罚和操控他人，人们或许没有意识到他们所做的会对他人造成情感或身体上的伤害。

Paul Schrodt, PhD, Professor of Communication Studies reviewed 74 relationship studies which involved more than 14,000 participants.
传播学教授Paul Schrodt仔细分析了74份关系研究，这项研究共有14000多人参加。

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is ‘tremendously’ damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that’s healthy and meaningful.
从他的深度分析中，我们会发现“冷战”会极大地破坏彼此之间的关系，它会让双方关系的满意度下降，降低彼此的亲切感，甚至会让双方更难以一种健康而又有意义的方式交流沟通。

“Partners get locked in this pattern, largely because they each see the other as the cause,” explains Schrodt. One partner will typically complain that the other is emotionally unavailable. The other will accuse his or her partner of being too demanding or critical.
传播学教授Paul Schrodt解释说：“人们陷入这样的情况中，很大一部分源于他们彼此把另一方看作是矛盾的根源”。一方通常会抱怨另一方没有管理好自己的情绪。而另一方则说对方太苛刻或太挑剔了。

The silent treatment should not be confused with taking time to cool down after heated or difficult exchange. Williams suggests that instead of reverting to the silent treatment, try ‘I can’t talk to you right now, but we can talk about it later.’
在经过激烈的争吵或者很难进行交流后，“冷战”不应该被理解为花时间让彼此双方冷静下来。心理学教授Kipling Williams认为在这种情况下，我们不应该进行“冷战”，可以尝试这样做：我现在不想说话，一会儿再谈。

Nobody engages the silent treatment expecting it to damage the relationship, and that’s the danger.
冷战中没人希望其会伤及彼此关系，那简直太危险了。

最后再来扩展几个跟“cold”相关的实用口语表达：

1. cold shoulder

关于cold shoulder，我们千万不能从字面上把它译为“冷肩膀”，正确的译法是“冷淡对待”，它常常与give连用，即构成“give sb a cold shoulder”的搭配，表示对待某人冷淡、冷漠。

She was angry with her husband ,so she gave him a cold shoulder when he talked to her.
她生她丈夫的气，因而当他和她说话时她不予理睬。

2. cold fish

cold fish可不是冷冰冰的鱼，它用来形容态度冷冰冰的人；冷漠的人。今天来学习和fish相关的习语。

We don't want to associate with any cold fishes.
我们不与冷酷无情的人打交道。

3. throw cold water on sb

我们常常用“throw cold water on sb”来指“向某人泼冷水”，可是此冷水非彼冷水。汉语博大精深，“泼冷水”是比喻败别人的兴头，打击别人的热情。