人际交往应把握好的十条建议

       
      Want to build positive relationships? Then make sure not to commit the following 10 things that disrupt relationships:

      你想建立积极的人际关系吗？那么确保不要做一下十件会毁灭关系的事情。

1. Giving hurtful comments. Are you hurting others by your lack of tact? You might think that you're being helpful, but your intentions might have hurt the other party instead. Put yourself in others'shoes first. If it's not a comment you appreciate hearing yourself, then perhaps it's not something others will appreciate either.

1. 给伤害性的评论。你曾经因为缺乏机智而伤害过他人吗？你可能觉得你是在帮别人，但是你可能伤害别人。首先，替别人想想。如果你不愿意听到那个评论，那么对于别人而言，可能也不愿意。

2. Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what people want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn't getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.

2. 给予解决的方法，当别人只是需要一个倾听的对象。可能只是一个保守的结论：很多时候人们只是需要倾诉。实际上，人们对于他们所面对的问题，已经有了解决的方法，他们只是在寻找能与他们分享心事的人，因为他们日子不好过。我有一个好朋友，经常插嘴提建议，当我只是想分享我的沮丧时。我们的对话变得非常沉闷——到最后我停止了诉说，因为我没有寻找到我的避难所。我们应该更加谨慎地去意识到对方需要什么，然后调整自己去适应。

3. Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself. Putting someone off doesn't make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that's appreciated by everyone.

3. 具有批判精神，觉得自己高高在上。没有人喜欢被批判或者被贴上标签。如果你不停地评论他人的言行，那么你所评价的内容正好反映了你自己。并不能将别人变成更好的人。这会让别人没有安全感。谦卑是每个人都欣赏的永恒的美德。

4. Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people — it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.

4. 远离批评。你是如何看待他人的批评呢？你是对批评敬而远之，置之不理？还是充满感激地倾听，在批评中积极地成长呢？学习与批评你的人相处——这恐怕是你将获得的最重要的技巧。

5. Telling people what to do. Most of us don't like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.

5. 告诉别人做什么。很多人都不喜欢被别人呼来喝去。学会激励别人，同等地看待别人比对别人呼来喝去更有用。