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做个聆听者:10招改掉爱插嘴的坏毛病
We've all been there — an amazing idea pops into your head and, without even realizing it, you've interrupted whomever is speaking to share your thought.
我们都有过这样的经历——当一个精彩的点子从我们脑子里蹦出来的时候,我们就会当即向别人分享自己的这一想法,甚至没有意识到我们正在打断别人。
Talking over others stops the flow of conversation and is also disrespectful to the person speaking. This faux pas is forgivable from time to time, but when it becomes a persistent characteristic, interrupting may cost you your job. and even a few friends.
打断别人说话阻碍了谈话的顺利进行,并且显得对说话者不尊重。这种失礼的行为有时候会被对方原谅,但是如果演变为一种习惯就会使你丢掉自己的饭碗,甚至失去朋友。
Along with learning how to be patient, retraining your brain to change how it responds to instant ideas can curb your interrupting ways. Here are a few tips to take into consideration:
除了学习怎样使自己变得更有耐心,你还要重新训练自己的大脑,改变其对突发灵感的反应,这样你便能控制自己而不去打断别人。你可以考虑一下下面的几招。
1.Write it down: When listening, if a great thought comes to mind, discretely write it down in a notebook while keeping up with the conversation, especially when meeting with senior managers or important clients. Wait for a break in conversation before asserting your opinion or new ideas.
1.记下你的想法:当你在倾听时,如果你想到了一个好点子,那就一边听对话在讲什么一边把你的想法记下来,特别是在倾听高级管理层或是重要客户讲话的时候。等到休息的时间再表达自己的观点或新点子。
2.Ask a question: Instead of busting someone's talking flow, wait until the end of a thought and share your view phrased as a question. Yes, you're still cutting in, but asking a question creates an opportunity to offer new ideas and thoughts while sticking with the direction of the discussion.
2.采取询问的方式:等一个新点子在你脑中从出现到成形后用一种提问的方式向对方表达出来,而不是直接打断别人的谈话。这样,你依然是在插话,但是使用询问的方式给你表达新点子提供了机会,同时没有改变你们谈话的方向。
3.Get help: Enlist an office buddy or good friend to tip you off when you interrupt. Come up with a special hand signal or give your helper the OK to deliver a swift kick under the table to curb your interrupting ways.
3.寻求帮助:寻求一名办公伙伴或者是好朋友在你打断别人时给你提示。可以想出一个特殊的手势或者允许你的帮手在你打断别人时在桌下及时踢你一脚。
4.Take a breath: The next time you have an idea you can't contain, simply open your mouth and take a quick, short breath. This tricks the mind into thinking that you've expressed yourself, creating a moment to focus and write the idea down instead of blurting it out.
4.呼吸法:下一次当你有了新点子没法控制自己不说出口时,只要张开嘴巴做一个短促的呼吸。这将会使你的大脑误以为你已经表达了自己的观点,并且给你时间去思考和记下自己的点子,而不是不假思索地说出口。
5.Practice impulse control: Keeping your impulse control in check is the key to curbing the bad habit of interrupting. When you have the urge to interrupt, do something to forget. Remove a ring from one finger and put it on another, make an X on a sheet of paper, or simply count to 10 in your head. Before you know it, you'll be able to comfortably control your need to interrupt.
5.控制冲动:抑制自己的冲动是抑制打断别人的坏习惯的关键所在。当你很想打断别人时,做点其他事转移注意力。可以把你的戒指从一只手指移到另一只手指上,或者在纸上打个叉,亦或者在心中默数十下。那么在你没有意识到的情况下,你就很轻松地控制住了想要打断别人的冲动。