异性真的相吸吗? 听听吸引法则是怎么说的

The old romantic adage is a cute one, but according to recent studies, opposites don’t necessarily attract.

过去的浪漫格言的确聪明动人，但根据最近的研究表明，异性不一定相吸引。

Research shows that people tend to seek out relationships with—and eventually marry—partners who have similar defining characteristics, such as age, political orientation, religion, education, and income.

研究表明，人们倾向于寻求与有相似本质特征的伙伴建立关系，这些特征比如年龄，政治取向，宗教，教育程度和收入，并最终步入婚姻。

“Generally speaking, when we think about opposites attracting or not, we’re thinking in terms of personality rather than these big key demographic factors,” says Vinita Mehta, a clinical psychologist and writer based in Washington, D.C.

“一般来说，当我们思考异性是相吸或相斥，我们主要考虑的是性格方面而不是这些关键的人口因素，”华盛顿的临床心理学家和作家维尼塔.梅塔说。

One big factor as to why this may be is simply your stage of life: where you live, what lifestyle you have, and what kind of people you’re exposed to.

为什么会这样的一个重要因素可能就是你所处的人生阶段：你住在哪里，你有什么生活方式，和你接触的是什么样的人。

“If you’re on a college campus, by and large, you’re going to find people who are in your age group,” Mehta says. “You’re going to find people who at least eventually become part of the same general income strata.”

“如果你在一个大学校园里，一般而言，你会去找与你年龄相仿的人，”梅塔说，“你会去找那些最终至少成为与你相同的普通收入阶层的人。”

Researchers from the University of Kansas made a bolder claim. A study released earlier this year analyzed real-world relationships and asked couples (romantic partners, friends, and acquaintances) about attitudes, behaviors, values, prejudices, and personality traits that were important to them. The pairs that had closer and more intimate relationships were not necessarily more similar than newly formed pairs, and people shared similarities on almost every personal issue that was measured.

来自勘萨斯大学的研究人员做了一个醒目的声明。今年早些时候发表的一项研究分析了现实世界的关系，并询问了几对（浪漫的夫妇，朋友和熟人）对他们而言是重要的东西比如态度、行为、价值观、偏见和个性特征这些。结果表明有着更密切和更亲密的关系的一对不一定比新组成的一对之间会更相似，人们几乎在每一个能判断的个人问题上共享着相似性。

The lead psychologists on this study believe this doesn’t happen by chance; it’s so common and widespread that seeking out like-minded people may be our psychological default when we make new friends or romantic partners. We certainly get the most out of these relationships. They make us more comfortable and trusting of the other person, and that makes it easier to cooperate and achieve goals.

带头这项研究的心理学家认为，这并不是偶然发生的，它是如此的常见和广泛，当我们结交新朋友或浪漫的对象时，寻求志同道合的人可能是我们的内心选择。我们肯定会从这些关系里获得最多，他们让我们感觉更舒适，并且信任其他人，这使得更容易达成合作和实现目标。

As far personalities go, connecting on major traits, like levels of neuroticism and conscientiousness, generally lead to happier couples. But that doesn’t mean you and your significant other need to agree on everything. Having different quirks—less defining parts of your personality, like your favorite sport or foods—can introduce you to new activities and ways of thinking, which can make you a more well-rounded person.

就性格而言，它是与主要特征联系在一起，如情商和责任心，一般会使一对夫妇幸福。但这并不意味着你和你的另一半需要在一切事情上达成一致。当你具有特别的怪癖时，即你的个性中并不突出的一块，比如你喜欢的运动或食物，它就可以为你介绍新的活动和思维方式并使你成为一个更完整的人。